From time to time I’ve heard it suggested that you should keep your Lenten penance a secret. This suggestion is tied to our Lord’s admonition in Matthew’s gospel to not look gloomy when we fast, so as not to appear to be fasting (Mt 6:17-18). It may seem ironic that this passage is read on Ash Wednesday, when the faithful go about with black smudges on our foreheads.
Indeed, there is something to be said for the public witness offered by Catholics going to work or school branded with the sign of our faith. But what are we to make of our Lord’s instructions to keep quiet about our piety? Should we keep our Lenten penance a secret from others?
The three traditional Lenten practices are prayer, fasting and almsgiving, and Jesus instructs us to do each quietly, without seeking attention. When we pray, Jesus tells us to “go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret” (Mt 6:6). When we fast, He says to “anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to others to be fasting” (Mt 6:17-18). And when we give alms, He says “do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret” (Mt 6:3-4).
It would be wrong for us to be overly scrupulous by applying a literal interpretation of Jesus’ words. A little later in this same gospel passage, our Lord tells us not to store up treasure on earth (Mt 6:19) and not to worry about what we are to eat or drink (Mt 6:25). Christ is telling us to trust in God rather than material goods. He’s not saying it’s immoral to have a savings account or to go grocery shopping.
Likewise, Jesus is not forbidding us from revealing our Lenten penances to others. But He is warning us to be careful of our motivations when we do penance. The things we give up for Lent, and the extra devotions and charitable works we take on, are meant to help us grow closer to God and so should primarily be between us and God. If we do them for the sake of appearance, or because we want others to see how pious we are, we do them for the wrong reasons. In that case, they can actually do us spiritual harm.
Every year around Ash Wednesday, I hear the same conversations among my Catholic friends: “What are you giving up for Lent?” Generally speaking, people are not bragging about their piety. They are looking for ideas, or seeking to connect with other Catholics around our common religious observance. Talking about our Lenten practices can be an encouragement to others and a means of fellowship and support.
But if we do choose to share our penances with others, there are two things we should avoid. The first is bragging. When we give alms, Jesus says not to “blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do… to win the praise of others” (Mt 6:2). And when we pray, He says, “do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray… on street corners so that others may see them” (Mt 6:5). Jesus calls those hypocrites who pray and give alms for public accolade because they do them for the wrong reasons. They show outward piety but their hearts are prideful.
Pride is a temptation for us all, so it is good for us to avoid bragging about our Lenten penance so as not to rouse that beast. This does not, however, mean we cannot share our penitential experiences with others in a helpful or encouraging way. Learning about how others approach penance can be a useful tool to help us grow in our faith.
The second thing to avoid is complaining. Jesus says, “When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting” (Mt 6:16). Like bragging, complaining is also an expression of pride, serving to draw attention to ourselves. Fasting is meant to be a voluntary act of penance; something we intentionally take on for our spiritual good. Fasting should teach us to endure suffering with patience and even joy – and not make everyone around us miserable by being grumpy. Our penance shouldn’t be penitential for others!
We find solidarity in shared experience, so it can be good to talk about your Lenten observance with fellow Catholics if you avoid the two pitfalls just mentioned. This is especially true when it comes to those you live with. Giving up certain foods for Lent affects family meal planning, for example. Sometimes consideration of others might preclude us from keeping our penance a secret.
Talking to someone else about your Lenten practices can also help with accountability. This can be especially important if you are considering taking on a particularly strict penance. It’s always good to seek the counsel of a pastor or spiritual director to make sure you are taking on your penance for the right reasons, in a way that is spiritually helpful.
In short, while there is no need to keep our Lenten practices strictly secret, especially from our family and friends, we probably shouldn’t be posting daily updates on social media about how holy we are becoming. As we enter into this season of fasting, prayer and almsgiving, let us wash our faces, anoint our heads and strive to give up bragging and complaining this Lent.
Deacon Matthew Newsome is the Catholic campus minister at Western Carolina University and the regional faith formation coordinator for the Smoky Mountain Vicariate. He and his family are parishioners at St. Mary Mother of God Church in Sylva. He blogs about ministry, spirituality and the Catholic faith at www.testeverythingblog.com.