Winds buffet poor souls to and fro, whipping them out of control as they cling to one another in a desperate attempt to avoid contact with any of the other people hurtling through the storm. Believe it or not, this is not an artistic description of our hearts and minds during the last three months; it’s Dante’s imaginative rendering of the first circle of hell. Yet after the past several months, it sounds relatable.
It’s a time to ask lots of questions, but we must focus on the right questions – the ones that lead to truth, trust and hope, questions of what the Christian life is and who God is.
We are not living in some hellish landscape. We are people on a pilgrimage to heaven. Each nuance of social distancing, inter-racial dialog, and political positioning has to begin with questions that keep us centered on our identity and on our goal.
Question 1: Why am I being asked to change?
The one thing Christ certainly never promised was comfort and stability. He took each of His disciples out of their jobs and families and set forth on a journey to the cross and His resurrection. The lives of the saints show few similarities to each other beyond their choice to be receptive to change and growth. It is human nature to put down roots and get comfortable, but grace challenges us to find our rootedness in Christ and bear fruit – regardless of the cultural climate.
Question 2: What is a fully human response to violence and unrest?
Change feels like violence because it can be, interiorly or exteriorly. We admire the interior violence of the saints when they seek to break free from the chains of complacency, prejudice, pride, bodily cravings or self-centeredness. We shrink from change when it feels pushed on us. Whenever an individual or group tries to force a change of heart or a major adjustment of lifestyle, people might acquiesce out of fear or guilt, but long-term progress will be fraught with rebellion.
Each person’s sufferings are different right now. Some hurts are long-standing and some are recent and sudden crosses bearing down on our shoulders.
Each of us needs to adapt in meaningful ways, as the saints do. Growth demands vulnerability, a cracking open of our hearts so that God can reach into our depths and transform us. A fully human response extends mercy to our fellow pilgrims as we all push through this crisis.
We need to feel known and heard as we cry out, “I am here. I am essential. I am hurt. I am hoping for change. I need help.” That is a personal and individual need that cannot be met by broad-sweeping legalism, a political movement or a personal manifesto on social media. We must talk to real people face to face. We must serve real individuals to address their pain. Faceless posturing online will never bring about catharsis for grief or a solution to division.
Question 3: Who is my leader? And, do I trust Him?
Frequently, I have had to examine my heart and consider how many voices I am listening to during a given day and how often that voice is God’s. Only cradled in Christ’s Heart are we absolutely safe to make the journey from the old self to the new, unfettered from past pains or regrets. We must choose to accept truth, recognize where our lives have been contrary to the truth, repent and confess our sins with the help of the sacraments, and move forward strengthened by God’s grace. When we fall back into old patterns, we repeat the process. Repentance does not mean camping in the hallways of shame or victimization overwhelmed by emotion. True repentance is an ongoing dynamic of hope that moves us forward in love.
The deepest love spurs the deepest change. Learning to love is a beautiful process that takes time, reflection and dialogue with the one loved. Only with love and humility can we break down the walls that divide us instead of breaking windows.
True unity can only be found in a person: the Person of Christ. Even when the winds of change feel like a hurricane, we must fix our eyes on Christ. He alone brings the unity and peace our hearts ultimately desire.
This month, I encourage you to pray the Prayer of St. Francis with your family. I believe the world will be a different place if we come to understand the interior violence and change needed to become true “instruments of peace” and choose to let God form our hearts in His image.
Kelly Henson is a Catholic writer and speaker who explores the art of integrating faith into daily life. She and her family are parishioners of Our Lady of Grace Parish in Greensboro. She blogs at www.kellyjhenson.com.