I was driving near our college campus the other day when I came to a stop at a red light. The car in front of me was covered in bumper stickers promoting pro-abortion politicians and sporting pro-choice slogans. But one sticker stood out among them. It had a picture of Mr. Rogers with the quote, “Every human being has value.” I was immediately struck by the incongruity.
As the light turned green and both our vehicles moved forward, I got to thinking: what if I had the chance to speak with the driver in front of me? What would I say? Would I verbally attack the person for their anti-life stance? Would I impugn their integrity for expressing inconsistent statements? Or would I say nothing at all, refusing to engage with someone who sees the world so differently from myself?
I might be tempted to do all of those things. But what if I took a different approach instead: what if I focused on the good? I could offer a friendly smile and say, “Hey, I like your Mr. Rogers bumper sticker!” They’d probably smile back and say, “Thank you.” And then I’d ask, “Do you believe those words?”
“What do you mean?” they may respond.
“Every human being has value – do you believe it?” I’d clarify.
“Absolutely,” they would say. Then perhaps they would tell me how they admired Mr. Rogers for soaking his feet on public television in the same kiddie pool as Officer Clemmons, a black man, back in 1969. What a powerful witness his action was to a nation divided along racial lines, they would say, and we need that kind of public witness today. Perhaps they would tell me they do advocacy work on behalf of immigrants who suffer from a lack of housing and unsafe working conditions. We might also talk about the injustice of separating children from their parents at the border.
Maybe they would share with me their concern that so many women are scarred by sexual abuse, and I would respond that as a Christian, my faith teaches that men and women are both created in the image of God and it is a sin to treat another person as an object. Maybe that would get us talking about the dignity of the human person – where it comes from and what it means.
At some point in our conversation, perhaps I would ask my new friend whether they thought Mr. Rogers’ affirmation applied to children in the womb. Don’t they have value? Should we not also advocate for them? Maybe they would listen to what I had to say, because I first listened to them and affirmed the good in their heart, and because I cared enough to show them that certain things they advocate for are inconsistent with that good.
Let me be clear: I am not suggesting we whitewash moral evil. Admonishing the sinner is a spiritual work of mercy. But admonishing the sinner is about converting hearts, not winning arguments. As we condemn what is evil, we must also affirm what is good, and the latter is often a more prudent place to begin. Affirming the good provides common ground upon which to establish a relationship and sets the stage for conversion. Yelling at each other may be easier, but it is far less rewarding.
We find precedent for this approach in St. Paul’s writings. In his letter to the Colossians, he instructs us to “admonish one another” (Col 3:16). But first he exhorts us to put away “anger, fury, malice, slander and obscene language” (3:8) and put on “heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another” (3:12-13). He tells us to put on love, let our hearts be controlled by the peace of Christ, and be thankful (3:14-15). Only then does St. Paul tell us to “teach and admonish one another” with wisdom (3:16).
Conversion of souls – beginning with our own – requires us to focus our mind and heart on what is good, true and beautiful. This can be a struggle when so much in the world is designed to keep our attention on what is ugly and scandalous. Focusing on the good is counter-cultural in the best sort of way. It’s also wonderfully attractive to those experiencing a real poverty of truth, beauty and goodness.
In his letter to the Philippians, St. Paul offers these words of encouragement: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Phil 4:8). If we do this, he promises, then “the God of peace will be with you” (Phil 4:9).
Deacon Matthew Newsome is the Catholic campus minister at Western Carolina University and the regional faith formation coordinator for the Smoky Mountain Vicariate.