I am looking forward to making a pilgrimage to the Holy Land at the end of this month. This seemed an opportune occasion to upgrade my luggage, so I did what one does when making a major purchase in the 21st century. I spent hours online researching options, comparing prices and reading reviews. Eventually I made a decision I felt good about, completed my purchase and sat back to await the delivery of papa’s brand new bags.
Anyone with a social media account can predict what happened next. My newsfeed was soon saturated with advertisements for the world’s best carry-on bags and revolutionary new packing systems. Slick looking brands I had never heard of were laid out before my gaze. Superlatives were tossed around. Everything was the best, the most and the greatest. Who knew luggage could be this good? I could transform my whole travel experience. And if I act now, I can have all this at unprecedented discount prices. For a limited time only, of course.
While just moments ago I was perfectly happy with my new luggage purchase, now doubt began to creep in. Did I really make the best decision? Would I have been happier with something different? What if something better is out there and I miss out?
The discontentment I now felt with my luggage purchase was entirely fabricated. There was nothing wrong with my new luggage. The reasons I chose it were still valid. But my perception was being manipulated by the targeted advertising. The truly troubling thing is that I was perfectly aware of what was going on, yet it still worked on a subconscious level. My discontent was real, even if unwarranted.
I write this not to complain about targeted ads, but to illustrate the broader point that temptation is often preceded by discontent. Before the serpent in the garden tempted Adam and Eve, he first sowed discontent into their hearts by asking, “Did God really say you shall not eat from any of the trees in the garden?” (Gen 3:1).
Our first parents were in Paradise! But all the serpent had to do was show them how good the forbidden fruit looked, and suddenly all the other fruit in the world didn’t seem as appealing. We can therefore help ward off temptation by fostering an attitude of contentment in the various circumstances of our life.
This goes well beyond material possessions. Our consumerist society trains us to believe that a good life comes from owning the latest and greatest toys. But what happens when you bring this attitude into your marriage, or your faith life? If your spouse isn’t making you happy, leave and put yourself back “on the market” to find someone else. If you don’t like the new pastor, you can always go “church shopping” to find a parish more suited to your taste. Note the consumerist terms we use to describe these phenomena.
This is not to say that there may not be legitimate problems with your marriage or your parish that need addressing, but it’s important to ask whether the discontent you feel is based on reality or a lie. This is easy to do when it comes to buying new luggage. A suitcase with a broken handle needs to be replaced. It’s more difficult when it comes to human relationships, for the simple reason that no one is perfect. If you’re inclined to blame the problems in your marriage on your spouse’s flaws, you are sure to find them. The same holds true for your job, your parish, or any situation involving other fallen human beings. There will always be something that the world, the flesh or the devil (the three traditional sources of temptation) can use to sow discontent and tempt us to overlook or discount the real blessings God has so graciously poured into our lives.
When we find ourselves feeling discontent, I recommend three simple steps.
First, take an honest look at your situation, both positive and negative, without judgment. Since it’s impossible to see all aspects of a situation from the inside, speaking with an unbiased third party can help with this. When you do so, try to avoid complaining about others, and be open to looking honestly at your own role in the relationship.
Second, thank God for the blessings you have. Scripture instructs us to give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thes 5:18). Developing a habit of thanksgiving helps us avoid the trap of only focusing on the negative.
Third, recognize that because all these things come from God, they are meant for your good, even in their imperfections. God would not permit hardship in our lives if there were not some good to be gained from it. God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8:28).
If you find the reasons for your discontent are warranted, take the situation to prayer and ask what God would have you do about it, in charity. Even then it is possible to find contentment in the midst of hardship, knowing that you are doing God’s will.
Christ tells us plainly that the peace he offers is not the peace offered by the world (Jn 14:27). If we expect to be fully satisfied by the things of this world, we are guaranteed disappointment. The Catechism teaches that true happiness is not found in any created thing, but in God alone (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1723). The key to being content with the imperfections of this world is to recognize that this world was never meant to satisfy our deepest longings, which means they must be fulfilled by something beyond this world. St. Paul boasted that he found the secret to being content in all circumstances: that secret was Christ, who strengthens him in all things (Ph 4:12-13).
Deacon Matthew Newsome is the Catholic campus minister at Western Carolina University and the regional faith formation coordinator for the Smoky Mountain Vicariate.