CHARLOTTE — St. Matthew Church is helping build stronger families through programs that promote healthy relationships. For nearly 10 years, the parish has offered marriage and parenting classes to help members turn natural conflict into opportunities for greater connection and intimacy.
“The Power of Calm for Parents” is held each spring, and “The Power of Calm for Marriage” is held in the fall. Participants meet for six two-hour sessions that involve watching a DVD, group discussion and workbook exercises that help them explore their unique family dynamics.
The programs are based on the books “ScreamFree Marriage” and “ScreamFree Parenting” and material by Hal Runkel, a marriage and family therapist, author and international speaker. A major focus is learning how to manage emotional reactivity so that one can respond instead of react during conflict. Parents learn how to empower their children by giving them choice, while also allowing them to learn through natural consequences. Couples discover a “Calm Down. Grow Up. Get Closer.” approach to the natural conflict of marriage that draws them closer.
“St. Matthew sees the family as an essential element of a healthy faith community. When families are stressed, hurting and struggling, we as a church need to provide help,” said Michael Burck, the parish’s adult faith formation director. “We know parents feel resourced, supported and empowered by these programs, and we intend to continue supporting families in practical and meaningful ways in the future.”
Kara Griffin, mother of two, attended the parenting class with her husband Chris last year. “We had a great experience. The group process helped us to not feel so alone, to look introspectively at our behaviors and to explore techniques to try out when struggling. As parents, we don’t always have effective tools to fall back on. And it’s a wonderful way to discuss, share and adopt new methods of parenting and ‘managing self’.”
Catherine Sforza, who leads the St. Matthew Mom’s Group, agreed. “Having children is such a blessing, so I’m always looking for ways to improve my parenting skills to help me be the best mom I can be. Learning new tools enabled us to establish a peaceful home and allowed my relationship with my kids to grow in a positive direction, especially in how we communicate with each other and how we act as a family.”
An important component of both programs is the group environment that supports and affirms its members, said Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate Jenny Cox, who has facilitated the programs for five years. “Family relationships can be challenging. Providing an accepting and supportive space where we can come together to share our struggles and help each other grow is so powerful! We always end our sessions with the Serenity Prayer to remind us that we are works in progress and God is always with us.”
St. Matthew Church will offer the next Power of Calm for Parents from 7 to 9 p.m. on Wednesdays, April 11-May 16. To register, go online to www.stmatthewcatholic.org/SMU For more information, email Cox at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
— Jenny Cox, correspondent and facilitator of the “Power of Calm” programs at St. Matthew Church.