CHARLOTTE — Three Catholic schools in the Diocese of Charlotte are welcoming new principals this fall. Our Lady of Grace School and St. Pius X School in Greensboro and St. Leo School in Winston-Salem will all have new leaders when students return for the 2018-’19 academic year next week.
Gary Callus, St. Leo School, Winston-Salem
Callus joins St. Leo School from the Diocese of Raleigh, where he served as an assistant principal at St. Mary Magdalene School in Apex. He has a Master of School Administration and benefits from 18 years of teaching middle school in Catholic education.
He and his wife Donna have been married for 31 years and have twins, a 25-year-old son and daughter.
Callus is a former sergeant with the New York City Police Department and is well respected for his strength of character, integrity and compassion for others.
“We are very fortunate to have an individual with such enthusiasm for Catholic schools, transparent faith and commitment to our children here at St. Leo Catholic School,” said Father Brian Cook, pastor of St. Leo Church and School. “We are delighted to welcome Mr. Callus and we pledge our support and prayers as we begin this new chapter in the life of our parish school.”
Callus officially assumed the job of principal Aug. 16.
“As I step into my role, I am reminded of the message of St. John Paul II to the National Catholic Educational Association of the United States, on April 16, 1979: ‘In order that the Catholic school and the Catholic teachers may truly make their irreplaceable contribution to the Church and to the world, the goal of Catholic education itself must be crystal clear. Beloved sons and daughters of the Catholic Church, brothers and sisters in the faith: Catholic education is above all a question of communicating Christ, of helping to form Christ in the lives of others.’
“It is truly my honor to join the St. Leo School community. The good Lord has blessed me with this amazing opportunity and I look forward to working with the students, parents and the staff at St. Leo.”
Christopher Kloesz, St. Pius X School, Greensboro
Chris Kloesz has been an educator for 19 years. He holds a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Cincinnati and a Master of Education from Xavier University.
Prior to his decision to embark upon a career in education, Kloesz served five years in the U.S. Coast Guard.
Before moving from Cincinnati, Ohio, to Greensboro, Kloesz taught high school English and language arts. He has previously served as an assistant principal, acting principal, and principal at the high school, middle school and intermediate school levels.
Kloesz also taught for several years as an adjunct instructor at Xavier University in Cincinnati.
He and his wife Nicole (herself a middle school English and language arts teacher), have two daughters enrolled at St. Pius X School. The family is active at St. Pius X Church.
“I have been blessed with an exciting and inspiring opportunity: to serve the students, families and staff of St. Pius X Catholic School as their principal,” Kloesz said.
“I am honored and humbled, and I get to enjoy the privilege, every hour of every day, of integrating my Catholic faith with my profession as an educator.”
Catherine Rusch, Our Lady of Grace School, Greensboro
Catherine Rusch is not new to Our Lady of Grace School. In fact, she joined the Greensboro school as a teacher in 2003, following four years of service in the public school system.
A graduate of N.C. State University, she went on to earn a master’s degree in education from UNC-Greensboro during her initial years as a teacher.
As an experienced teacher, an active parishioner and a parent of four, Rusch said she is passionate about Our Lady of Grace School and its mission as a parish and school community.
Beginning her 20th year in education, she has worked continually to uphold and enhance the school’s quality of education by serving as the school’s accreditation leader, training and mentoring other teachers, continuing her own learning, and serving as a member of supporting committees, including the Grace Committee, which supports families in living out the Catholic faith.
Rusch said she is looking forward to serving the community in her new role as principal and ready to lead the school into the future.
— SueAnn Howell, senior reporter
Our principals
Michele Snoke
St. Gabriel School
Deborah Butler
St. Mark School
Meredith Canning
Immaculata School
Tyler Kulp
Sacred Heart School
Dr. Carl Semmler
Christ the King High School
Christopher Kloesz
St. Pius X School
Sheila Levesque
St. Michael School
Kathy McKinney
St. Ann School
Michael Miller
Asheville Catholic School
Amy Tobergte
St. Patrick School
Kevin O’Herron
St. Matthew School
Catherine Rusch
Our Lady of Grace School
Kevin Parks
Holy Trinity Middle School
Allana-Rae Ramkissoon
Our Lady of the Assumption School
Tracy A. Shaw
Bishop McGuinness High School
Greg Roberts
Immaculate Heart of Mary School
Sister Geri Rogers, S.S.J.
Our Lady of Mercy School
Gary Callus
St. Leo School
Kurt Telford
Charlotte Catholic High School
1968 encyclical rooted in respect Church has for human dignity
1968 encyclical rooted in respect Church has for human dignity
Read the encyclical Humanae Vitae
Fifty years ago, an encyclical was released affirming a long-held teaching of the Catholic Church, yet it became one of the most controversial encyclicals in recent history.
Blessed Paul VI’s encyclical “Humanae Vitae” (“Of Human Life”), subtitled “On the Regulation of Birth,” reaffirmed the Church’s moral teaching on the sanctity of life, married love, the procreative and unitive nature of conjugal relations, responsible parenthood and its rejection of artificial contraception.
Blessed Paul in “Humanae Vitae” said that the only licit means of regulating birth is natural family planning. In the document, he asked scientists to improve natural family planning methods “providing a sufficiently secure basis for a regulation of birth founded on the observance of natural rhythms.”
At the time of its release, it was greeted with protests and petitions. But the 50th anniversary has been marked by conferences, lectures and academic discussions as theologians, clergy, family life ministers and university professors have explored what its teachings mean for the 21st-century Church.
Blessed Paul issued “Humanae Vitae” as artificial contraception, particularly the birth control pill, began to become commonplace. In the United States, the Food and Drug Administration approved the use of Enovid – “the pill” – in May 1960 after tests on nearly 900 women through more than 10,000 fertility cycles showed no significant side effects.
Initially, many thought the pope might support the use of artificial contraception, especially after a majority of members on a papal commission studying the issue approved a draft document in 1966 endorsing the principle of freedom for Catholic couples to decide for themselves about the means of regulating births.
The document proposed that artificial birth control was not intrinsically evil and said under specific circumstances, Catholic couples could use contraceptives in good conscience. It was supported by 64 of the 69 commission members who voted on it, including nine of its 16 episcopal members.
The document was intended for the pope only, but it was leaked to the press, which heightened expectations of a major change in Church teaching.
Blessed Paul rejected the majority’s recommendations and, instead, decided to uphold traditional Church teaching on artificial contraception. The text of the document thanked the commission experts but added that the pope thought its proposed solutions “departed from the moral teaching on marriage proposed with constant firmness by the teaching authority of the Church.”
Opposition to the encyclical erupted throughout the Church after the document’s release. Some clergy in the U.S. and Europe openly voiced disagreement and thousands of lifelong Catholics left the Church.
Among the most prominent opponents were 87 teaching theologians from American seminaries and Catholic universities. They responded with their own statement, arguing that because the encyclical was not an infallible teaching, married couples in good conscience could use artificial contraception and remain faithful Catholics.
Father Charles E. Curran, then an associate professor of theology at The Catholic University of America, was one of the most visible U.S. leaders of the group who opposed the teaching.
'"Humanae Vitae” took sex seriously, far more seriously than the contemporary world, for all of its talk about sex.’
Helen AlvaréGeorge Mason University law professor and consultor to the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for the Laity
An attempt by Catholic University officials in spring 1967 to dismiss Father Curran for his stance that Catholics could dissent from the Church’s teaching that contraception was morally wrong resulted in a student strike. The priest was reinstated quickly, ending the strike.
In 1986, the Vatican declared Father Curran unfit to teach Catholic theology because of his dissent from certain Church teachings and he was eventually removed from his position at Catholic University.
Father Curran, currently the Elizabeth Scurlock university professor of human values at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, said that while “Humanae Vitae” upholds traditional Church teaching, for decades the use of artificial contraception among Catholic couples has been similar to that of non-Catholic couples without Church consequences.
“From my prejudiced perspective, the present situation proves that the Catholic Church accepts dissent,” Father Curran said recently. “It’s not infallible teaching,” he said of “Humanae Vitae.” “Everybody knows that contraception (practice) is about the same for Catholics and non-Catholics.”
Despite the outcome, Father Curran said the existing “gap between the teaching of the Church and the practice of the faithful” is not a good situation because it has led to widespread loss of credibility for Church teaching.
“In a sense it (the encyclical) is even more important today especially because if the Catholic Church cannot engage on contraception it is never going to engage in any other sexual issue or any other issue, such as the role of women in the Church,” Father Curran said.
For defenders of “Humanae Vitae,” however, the enduring relevance of the encyclical is a testament to the truth of its message. While it is not infallible teaching, it is still the official doctrine of the Church, requiring assent by all Catholics unless it is modified.
“Perhaps the most surprising thing about the encyclical ... is how reports of its imminent death were continually
exaggerated,” recently wrote Helen Alvaré.
‘And We are convinced that this truly great work will bring blessings both on the world and on the Church. For man cannot attain that true happiness for which he yearns with all the strength of his spirit, unless he keeps the laws which the Most High God has engraved in his very nature. These laws must be wisely and lovingly observed.’
Blessed Paul VI
Conclusion to “Humanae Vitae”
The law professor at George Mason University and pro-life advocate, who among other things serves as a consultor for the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for the Laity, attributes this to the flaws of the birth control revolution and to a deeper appreciation of the “Humanae Vitae” message.
“Over time, as the sexual revolution played out and contraception failed to live up to its billing, fair observers began to note a positive or prophetic thing or two about ‘Humanae Vitae,’ along with its surprisingly accurate read of human nature,” she wrote.
Janet Smith, who holds the Father Michael J. McGivney chair of life ethics at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, said the encyclical’s opening line – stating that “the most serious duty of transmitting human life” stems from the call of marriage – is the basis for Church teaching on the family.
The difficulty facing the Church is that young people generally view sex as a pleasurable experience shared among consenting partners, she said. However, in talks around the country Smith has encountered young people who “see the meaninglessness of casual sex,” creating an opening to explore the message of “Humanae Vitae.”
“It’s a growing movement of young people who are interested in being 100 percent Catholic,” she said.
Alvare echoes this assessment: “‘Humanae Vitae’ took sex seriously, far more seriously than the contemporary world, for all of its talk about sex.”
In April, Philadelphia Archbishop Charles J. Chaput told a Catholic University of America symposium commemorating the encyclical’s anniversary that it is time for the Church’s teaching on marriage, abortion, human sexuality and artificial contraception to be embraced as God’s will for the faithful.
He explained that the teaching is rooted in the same respect for human dignity that guides its work for social justice and care for poor people.
“’Humanae Vitae’ revealed deep wounds in the Church about our understanding of the human person, the nature of sexuality and marriage as God created it. We still seek the cure for those wounds. But thanks to the witness of St. John Paul II, Pope Benedict, Pope Francis and many other faithful shepherds, the Church has continued to preach the truth of Jesus Christ about who we are and what God desires for us,” the archbishop said.
He added, “People willing to open their eyes and their hearts to the truth will see the hope that Catho-lic teaching represents and the power that comes when that truth makes us free.”
— Dennis Sadowski, Catholic News Service
More online
At www.usccb.org: Find prayer resources, explanations of Church teaching on marriage and sexuality, and more information about natural family planning (NFP) methods
At www.ccdoc.org/natural-family-planning: Learn more about natural family planning classes being held across the diocese, and find helpful guides on NFP apps, NFP-supportive doctors and much more
At www.foryourmarriage.org: A helpful website for couples at all stages of life to understand and live God’s plan for happy, holy marriages by providing educational and spiritual resources on everything from dating advice to parenting tips ‘God wants so much more for us’
Read related story: Parishioners mark 50th anniversary of ‘Humanae Vitae’ at Mass July 25
Local Catholics reflect on ‘Humanae Vitae’
CHARLOTTE — Three Diocese of Charlotte leaders who help teach local Catholics about “Humanae Vitae” reflect on the 50th anniversary of the encyclical and share their perspectives on putting its teachings into practice in their own lives:
Jessica Grabowski is a married mother of three and the diocese’s Respect Life program director.
Humanae Vitae is a profound document which foretold many intricacies of the future of the family – which is the culture as we see it today – in a truly prophetic way. I had the privilege to study this and other papal documents in moral theology classes at The Catholic University of America (my alma mater).
In one particular class, Christian Marriage and Family Life, which I unknowingly took with my future spouse (and taught by my future father-in-law), I had the opportunity to study “Humanae Vitae” and the detrimental impacts birth control has had on families and marriages throughout the last five decades.
Despite the warning signs provided in this document, I realized how far the good of the family had fallen because of the Pill. By focusing on the beauty of what marriage and family ought to be when husband and wife fully give themselves to God, one another and their families, we as a family try to emulate all that marriage and family should be according to His divine will. We truly believe that leading through example and prayer in our family life is the most powerful way to help bring the sanctity of marriage and family back into our culture.
Families and marriages need support and enrichment to stay strong, especially with the state of our current society. So we look to the example of other strong marriages and families and try to provide that same example by prayerfully following God’s will in our family.
Batrice Adcock is a married mother of three and the diocese’s Natural Family Planning director.
When I think about my own experience with Natural Family Planning, by God’s grace my husband and I were introduced to a priest right here from our own diocese when we were discerning marriage. He really explained to us the beauty of the Church’s teaching on marriage and sexuality and family planning, so that when we got married we were able to embrace Natural Family Planning.
It has been very helpful for us throughout our almost 15 years of marriage, for avoiding pregnancy when we needed to, for achieving pregnancy quickly when we tried and for helping me overcome problems with my health that were causing miscarriage.
So we are really thankful for what Natural Family Planning has provided for us.
It totally changed my career path. Pope Paul VI even mentioned this in “Humanae Vitae,” saying that often couples, through their own experience, would be inspired to share this with others.
Ultimately, that is what has happened with me. I am very thankful to be in the position that I can share this with others in our diocese.
Elizabeth Harris is a nurse and Natural Family Planning instructor.
Catholic health care workers are called to courageously uphold the Church’s teachings on the sanctity of human life by being informed on the harmful effects of contraception, sterilization, artificial fertility treatments and abortion, and by boldly sharing this knowledge with patients and colleagues – even if it means risking their job and their worldly sense of security. At the end of our lives, all that will matter is what we have done for God.
I would like to see a world where women who are lost in the current culture of the women’s movement find authentic freedom in living a life of purity and chastity because that is where our dignity and empowerment truly are. This virtue allows our God-given beauty to shine radiantly, from the inside, and for our total gift of self to be given in the act of the marital embrace the way that God intended.
In the first sentence of “Humanae Vitae,” Pope Paul VI states, “The transmission of human life is a most serious role in which married people collaborate freely and responsibly with God the Creator.” This act is sacred and holy, and it is not intended to be used outside of a covenantal marriage. It is also not meant to be distorted and made into something that is self-serving, such as pornography, which harms God’s beautiful design for love, sexuality and marriage.
How can we seek to uphold one another as God’s creation in our relationships and see each other as His masterpieces, instead of like objects to be used like a commodity? That is degrading of one’s dignity and is a cheap imitation of sexuality and love.
God wants so much more for us.
— SueAnn Howell, senior reporter
Catholic Charities launches education program for teen girls
A free program focused on menstrual cycle education for teenage girls and their parents will be launched at St. Vincent de Paul Church in Charlotte starting Oct. 13. Entitled “teenFEMM” (short for “Fertility Education and Medical Management”), the program was developed by the World Youth Alliance, which advocates for pro-life and pro-family policy at the United Nations.
Rather than wait to first introduce couples to the information as part of marriage preparation, Batrice Adcock, director of the Natural Family Planning Program of Catholic Charities, wants to educate young women and their parents in this knowledge-based health program that teaches them to understand and monitor hormonal and other indicators of their health.
“Teens will come to understand how their bodies work,” Adcock notes. “They will see how daily choices about food, sleep and exercise effect their menstrual cycles and overall health. The teens will be empowered to take charge of their health.
“We will teach teens to recognize normal and abnormal patterns in their menstrual cycles. In the case of an abnormality, specially trained medical professionals can provide more accurate testing, diagnosis and treatment by working with biological indicators provided by the teen’s own observations.”
“Often, the first sign of an underlying health problem is an irregularity in the menstrual cycle, most easily identified and treated during the teen years,” Adcock adds.
Monitoring her cycle, the teen has access to a monthly report card reflecting her health, equivalent to another vital sign, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the American Academy of Pediatrics.
“We want to give teens and their parents access to a diagnostic tool and medical management for menstrual problems that far exceeds what is available to them in the band-aid approach of the pill. The pill does not treat the underlying cause of their problems, but puts them at risk for depression, breast cancer and blood clots, to name a few,” Adcock says.
Such programs have also been shown to delay the onset of sexual activity, decrease sexual activity in sexually-active youth and improve attitudes towards abstinence.
The program at St. Vincent de Paul Church will begin with Mass and will be followed with a talk on the dignity women have being made female in God’s image. Adcock will then present to parents first, then their daughters, information about the menstrual cycle. A similar program is being piloted for young men and will be launched in the diocese when it is available.
“We want to help teens to become vibrant and healthy and to come to a deep appreciation of their gender,” Adcock says. :”I often meet young women in the context of marriage preparation who would have liked to learn about their menstrual cycles as teens or even earlier, with the onset of puberty.”
For details about teenFEMM and to attend the free program, contact Adcock at 704-370-3230 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
— Catholic News Herald
Did you know?
Natural Family Planning and other life-changing programs at Catholic Charities are funded in part through the generous support of many people and organizations in our community. Learn more about Catholic Charities and donate online at www.ccdoc.org.
2018 NFP Workshop Calendar
July 21st — St. Vincent de Paul, Charlotte, One Day Class, 1:30 to 5 pm
August 18th — St. Aloysius Catholic Church, Hickory, One Day Class, 1:30 pm to 5 pm
September 15th — St. Matthew Catholic Church, Charlotte, One Day Class, 1:30 pm to 5:30 pm
October 20th — St. Matthew Catholic Church, Charlotte, One Day Class, 1:30 pm to 5:30 pm
Dr. Charlie Camosy: A conversation about ‘Humanae Vitae’ may finally be possible
Can one imagine a more difficult year for “Humanae Vitae” (“Of Human Life”) to be heard than 1968?
Blessed Paul VI’s encyclical came out just as the sexual revolution was picking up steam, well on its way to becoming a dominant force in Western culture.
Contraception was part of a basic right to privacy and on a path from normalization to celebration. Playboy and other pornographic magazines and films were on the ascendant. Casual sexual encounters, along with no fault divorce, were becoming much more prevalent. Sex manuals and erotic novels were on the living room bookshelves of respectable people. Movies and music pushed the revolution at every turn.
This revolution, it should be said, made a lot of people quite a lot of money. But it was portrayed in cultural circles of power (media, academia, government, etc.), not as the latest iteration of consumer culture, but as part of a broader social justice movement. A movement which pushed back against the outdated and oppressive views of the past.
The replacement culture was liberating. The natural direction of social progress. Only backward-thinking, religious dogmatists rejected it. Smart and open-minded people embraced it.
Swimming against this powerful cultural tide, in the short run at least, “Humanae Vitae” never had a chance. Few of its critics actually read the text, and even fewer could allow themselves to be genuinely challenged by its arguments. It fit neatly in the revolution’s cultural narrative: an out-of-touch celibate hierarchy using power to enforce a superstitious and harmful view of sex onto people who, given their better education and actual experience, simply knew better.
In recent decades the consensus against “Human Vitae” has been so strong that theologians and even priests feel quite safe in their dissent. The occasional finger-wagging or bad book review from the institutional Church serves to do little beyond increasing the prominence of the thinker and increasing their book sales.
But those who’ve been sympathetic to the document have, for their most part, been forced to keep their mouths shut and their pens dry – at least if they want to remain respectable in cultural circles of power. The narrative that only backward-thinking dogmatists could take it seriously became the received wisdom.
But now, on the verge of the document’s 50th anniversary, a new cultural moment has arrived. Blessed Paul warned that the separation of sex from procreation and committed relationships would have disastrous effects, and there is now strong evidence to show that he predicted better than he knew.
Consider these cultural trends:
- The #MeToo movement has demonstrated that our sexual culture is fundamentally broken and often violent. Far from liberating, “hookup culture” is a particular instance of what Pope Francis calls the “use and throwaway” culture. People are dehumanized and mutually used as mere objects of desire in a sexual marketplace – a marketplace now widely expanded and facilitated by smartphone applications.
- Pornography dominates the internet and the script for Western sexual encounters. But it has done so in ways which normalize hookups, violence against women, and even sex between family members. As a result, even liberal countries like the United Kingdom and Iceland have recently tried to ban porn. Lurking right behind porn in separating sex from genuine relationships are sex robots. Many are already worried that, given current assumptions and practices, there will be little to stop them from radically disconnecting sex from unification with another person.
- Hookup culture is impossible to imagine without widespread access to contraception as an enabling technology. And the riskier sex created by this culture, perhaps counterintuitively for some, has actually led to more sexually-transmitted infections, not fewer. For evidence-based approaches, contraception no longer appears to be the solution to our epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases.
- More and more progressive and even secular women are starting to react negatively to the health problems created by the large doses of hormones in the birth control pill and long-acting contraception. Dubbed by some the “Pro-Kale, Anti-Hormone” movement, many women with the means to do so are avoiding the pill’s substantial side effects by using versions of natural family planning. In a related story, some secular social justice advocates are challenging the growing movement (pushed in part by pharma companies who stand to profit) to put poor people of color on long-acting contraception with high levels of hormones.
- Most countries who had a sexual revolution now have a fertility crisis. A culture needs to have 2.1 children per woman to replace its population, but every European country is well below this threshold: Germany is 1.47; Great Britain, 1.8; Italy, 1.37; Poland, 1.32; and so on. Tax incentives to have more children aren’t working. The problem was so bad in Russia the government came up with a “Day of Conception” in which everyone is given the afternoon off from work to go home and have sex. Japan’s fertility crisis has resulted in trillions in lost GDP and a population decline of 1 million people, all within just the past five years. This is happening in the United States as well. In 2008 and 2009, the U.S. had replacement-rate fertility, but since then, we’ve fallen to about 0.3 kids below replacement level.
- The move from procreation to reproduction has accepted the logic of consumer culture. Given the perceived need for a culturally determined income and lifestyle, the market decides if and when one should have a child.
Child-bearing is therefore often delayed until it is much more dangerous for both mother and child. In vitro fertilization, at least as practiced by the uber-profitable fertility industry in the United States, is another example of the use and throwaway culture – with thousands of embryos discarded as trash. This practice also has created a situation in which women are used for their eggs and uteruses – a marketplace which abuses poor women such that countries as India have banned commercial surrogacy.
These cultural trends are so different from where they were 50 years ago that “Humanae Vitae” may finally get a genuine hearing. The obvious surrender of our sexual culture to consumerist market forces, particularly after #MeToo, has led many different kinds of people to look for alternatives.
If 1968 was one of the worst years possible for “Humanae Vitae” to be heard, then 2018 may be one of the best. Let the conversation begin.
Dr. Charlie Camosy is an associate professor in the theology department at Jesuit-run Fordham University.
Father Santiago Mariani: A series on love and life
In this five-part series, we will explore together two of the most fundamental themes possible: love and life! The hope, of course, will not be to provide an exhaustive treatment of these rich realities, but rather to paint a general picture by five broad strokes of the brush. May it help us to better receive and rejoice in God’s plan for our lives, that families may be strengthened and growing happiness abide.
— Father Santiago Mariani, parochial vicar of St. Vincent de Paul Church in Charlotte
1: On the Source and Nature of Love
A couple of weeks ago, we celebrated as a parish the Feast of the Most Holy Trinity, a feast that speaks to us of intimacy and love. For just as a lover is inclined to open up his heart to his beloved, so did God reveal to us freely the secret depths of His intimate Life. An eternal community of Love, God is three Persons in one divine Nature – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – with each being fully God, and with each being fully God in each Other. For all eternity, the Father knows, loves, and abides in His Son, thus begetting Him into existence. For all eternity, the Son receives His Life from the Father and responds by giving Himself completely unto Him in return, holding nothing back. And from this mutual, everlasting exchange of life proceeds the Holy Spirit, the fruit and bond of Their love!
Due to His unbounded Goodness, God desired to share the bliss of His life with others, and so He created the universe as a free gift. Each creature sprang forth by His Power so as to participate in His existence, each in its own way. And then, at the peak of creation, the God of Love formed man with special care in His own image and likeness, creating them from the beginning as a couple: “male and female He created them” (Gen 1:27).
This is why love is so very natural to us. For we know almost by instinct that for love to be true it must include the free, full gift of one’s self. To say, “I take you to be my wife 80 percent of the way” would simply not cut it. “And I give myself to you, as long as I can keep 5 percent to myself” would fall terribly flat in return. Very rarely do couples need to be convinced of this basic fact! And what a beautiful sight it always is when couples do make the vows of their total, mutual self-sacrifice, speaking with their lips the truth that lies in their hearts: “I love you completely, knowingly, willingly, and I promise to be yours – wholly yours – ’til death do us part.”
And as this total gift of self is mutually planted in each other’s heart and renewed regularly over time, life – new life – springs up! For marital love is by nature not only complete but also fruitful, a reflection – limited yet profound – of that eternal, life-giving love of the Great One-in-Three and Three-in-One.
2: On the Generation of New Life
In the previous commentary, we reflected on how true conjugal love by nature both unites the couple as one flesh, and bears fruit by means of that powerful bond – a reflection of God’s everlasting, ever-fruitful love. By the complete gift of their selves in both joys and sorrows, couples expand and enrich each other’s lives, making them ever more beautiful and open to that happiness which lasts (“I didn’t know what it was like to live until I found you!”). And this can be done regularly in a most concrete and eloquent way through the marital embrace, which renews and affirms the couple’s nuptial vows by words now spoken with the body: “Take, for this is my body – my very self – which is offered up entirely for you.”
It’s by this reciprocal gift of the self that couples are meant to become co-creators with God of new life! Put in other words, it’s by a complete union of love that children are to be woven into existence, reared, and offered back in thanksgiving to God as the gifts – not possessions! – that they are. Hence, the divine command to “be fruitful and multiply” extends throughout all time to every couple, and it’s with special blessings that God showers those parents who generously and prudently decide to raise a numerous family as a real exercise of responsible parenthood.
Having said this, the Church does recognize as well that there are times when for well-grounded reasons based on physical, psychological, economic or social factors, a couple may also judiciously avoid a new birth – even for an indefinite period of time – without offending in the least God’s laws (cf. “Humanae Vitae” 10,16; official Vatican translation). Knowing this, it’s vital for couples who have decided to receive more children to remember that it is possible to space out new births as another expression of responsible parenthood. At the same time, it’s also important for those who are legitimately avoiding another child to recall that those who are having more children in virtuous co-operation with God are doing so as a courageous and admirable service to this world.
Before going deeper into this topic, a word of advice: special care must be taken of not passing judgment on others based on appearances. There are numerous couples, for example, who eagerly desire to have more children – or even any at all – but who find themselves painfully unable to bring this about: “Give me children,” Rachel cried to her husband Jacob, “or I shall die!” (Gen 30:1). This suffering is only intensified by others labeling their situation as one springing from “selfishness,” quite contrary to the facts. Hence, it’s our duty to always assume the best of others, as we extend our prayers and support to those we know to be in such a plight. For even in these trying, difficult cases, a couple’s love can remain truly life-giving, bearing rich fruits of generosity by means of adoption, or by acts of expanding charity, patience, and trust in our loving Father’s care and might.
3: Love’s Common Yet Deadly Counterfeit
In the previous commentary, we considered how sexual union in marriage is a beautiful way to regularly renew one’s marital vows. Also, we noted how new births may be legitimately postponed. How, though, is this to be done?
A common answer, even by some well-intentioned Christians, is contraception, or deliberately impeding the fertility of the conjugal act. This can be done beforehand using, for example, the IUD (actually an abortifacient, since it causes the abortion of an already fully human, embryonic child by preventing its implantation in its mother’s womb), “the Pill” (possibly an abortifacient at times as well), or surgical sterilization. It can also occur within the act, e.g., through condoms or the withdrawal method. Finally, it can happen afterwards, such as by direct abortions or the abortifacient “Plan B”/“Morning-After” pill. These and other such readily available options are so very mainstream that couples are often utterly and understandably surprised to hear how contraception is not merely wrong but actually an intrinsic, grave evil: intrinsic since it’s immoral by its very nature and cannot be excused by an appeal to conscience in any case; grave as it’s a work of darkness diametrically opposed to God’s plan; evil insofar as it prevents us from walking faithfully with Christ, receiving Him in Communion, and, ultimately, entering into His Kingdom of Light.
Yet what could possibly be so inherently bad about contraception that would make it that evil, here and everywhere, across cultures and time?
In part, contraception is so heinous because it not only rejects the procreative potential of the marital embrace, but also thereby greatly and objectively deforms the union of the couple in the same stride (even if approved by both spouses). To better understand this, let’s recall that for marital love to be true love, it must involve the total gift of the self: not “I give myself to you 75 percent of the way,” but rather, “completely, forever!” Contraception, however, says something very different: “I accept you, except for your fertility. I give myself to you, but only in part.” This is neither the language nor reality of conjugal love, but rather a counterfeit – quite simply, a lie. This is why to intentionally frustrate the potential fertility of the act is to also frustrate its power to unite the couple as one flesh, since it no longer expresses – and thus cannot renew – a complete union of marital love.
Why, then, is our Mother – Christ’s Bride, the Church – so very adamantly against contraception? She is against this common yet profound evil because she is willing to use her God-given authority to stand up for your love, to fight for your marriage, to work for your happiness! For, thankfully, she is ready to guide us with maternal care in all such vital matters, even if it should mean standing painfully yet faithfully against the strong cultural currents of the times – loving us, her children, to the very end.
4: Planning One’s Family with Grace
Now we’ll consider how couples may practically and morally postpone new births for well-grounded reasons. As is known, while each and every act of the marital embrace must be completed in such a way that life could come from it, this does not mean that each and every act in fact does. For God, in His wisdom, has fashioned women in such a way that they are fertile only for a small part of the month and not so during the rest. This means that couples may abstain from relations during the fertile time only to return to their embrace afterward, an approach called Natural Family Planning.
But is this not a hit-or-miss approach? Thankfully, it’s not. For a woman’s cycle may now be charted with precise accuracy thanks to daily observable bio-markers (and apps!). This explains why the effectiveness rates of new NFP methods are so high when used properly, ranging from 95.2 to 99.6 percent (in one study, the Marquette method actually reached 100 percent; Fehring 2012). And because a number of them no longer rely solely, or even at all, on counting days or on formulas as was so with the old Rhythm method, modern NFP methods can still work with irregular cycles, even if it should require closer help from an instructor initially.
The benefits of NFP are manifold. First and foremost, it preserves the integrity of the gift of self, allowing for the marital embrace to remain truly marital, i.e., a complete union of love where all is given and received. Furthermore, NFP helps to fortify romance and intimacy by forcing couples to show affection in other fundamental ways (emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, etc.). In addition to fostering dialogue, NFP allows for growth in patience and self-mastery, thus preparing couples for those inevitable times of separation or illness. Incidentally, while contraception can inflict severe – if not deadly – side-effects (even, sadly and ironically, to women who otherwise live a very healthy, “organic” lifestyle), NFP has no side effects, plus it helps women become better aware of their health. In fact, it’s even been known to help identify biological irregularities that may otherwise have been missed! Finally, NFP helps spiritually as well, keeping couple’s open to God’s grace while helping to regularly deepen prayer during the times of abstinence (cf., 1 Cor 7:5).
As a last note, it’s important to note that while NFP and contraception are two very different means of accomplishing the same goal (with one preserving and nurturing the gift of self and the other perverting and preventing it), it’s possible nonetheless to approach both methods with the same warped mentality: that of seeing children as obstacles to one’s happiness and a burden to be avoided at all costs. Hence, it’s essential for those who practice NFP to develop a strong prayer life, so that the Spirit of God may continue that purifying action of His that that draws us ever closer – even if by surprises! – to Heaven’s embrace.
5: Moving Forward Together in Christ
As we finish this series, some may find themselves having encountered nothing more than a refresher about married love in God’s plan. Others, however, may have found this content to be a very difficult surprise, especially if one’s method of avoiding pregnancies has been revealed to be an abortifacient. How, then, do we move forward together?
First and foremost, don’t be afraid! God is merciful, God is forgiving, God grants grace that we may start over again, no matter how long it’s been. Though the idea of leaving contraception behind may seem truly daunting, go to one of the many diocesan-approved NFP classes (www.ccdoc.org/nfp) and learn how you, too, can make the change. And even if at times you should fail at your new resolutions, please don’t get discouraged. Simply turn humbly to God with contrite hearts, give thanks for the new learning opportunity, and just try again with renewed confidence and persevering faith. Pray with your spouse, find peace through confession and strength in the Eucharist, laugh often with friends!
Will it be challenging sometimes to do so? No doubt. Bottom line: temporary or permanent abstinence can be hard, really hard – even frustratingly so! Yet in Christ all things are possible, and by His grace we can all grow progressively into true freedom: free from slavery to our urges, free to give joyfully of ourselves. And it’s so very worth it! It’s telling, for instance, how 74 in 100 couples have found NFP to be beneficial for their relationship (Vandevusse, 2003), as well as how NFP users have been found to be 53 percent less likely to be divorced (NSFG, 2011). Love is costly, yet it affords a happiness that far exceeds any thrills lust could ever provide.
For those who’ve had surgical sterilizations, know that you need not necessarily reverse them – true contrition and an honest confession would suffice (even here, NFP would remain greatly beneficial). For those with a spouse who contracepts, please read online “Vademecum for Confessors,” 13-14, for practical, sensible help.
Perhaps, though, this is a task not just for couples, but for our entire parish, as we seek to instill together in future generations a proper appreciation for the virtue of chaste love. This will require upholding the supreme attractiveness of chastity and the dignity of every human being. It will therefore also require fighting against any reduction of others – ourselves included – to mere things, as is so, for example, with the use of pornography or the wearing of immodest clothes (whether at church or the office, at the gym or home). But, above all, it will require that we all be willing to take up the challenge internally. It’s in the arena of our hearts that we must make our choice for Christ time and time (and time!) again, so that we may all live our calling with growing conviction, and thus proclaim our Bridegroom’s desire to unite us ever so closely to Himself.
Birth of an encyclical: Priest documents preparation of 'Humanae Vitae'
VATICAN CITY — Documents in the Vatican Secret Archives and the archives of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith prove it was a "myth" that Blessed Paul VI largely set out on his own in writing "Humanae Vitae," the 1968 encyclical on married love and the regulation of births.
In anticipation of the encyclical's 50th anniversary, Pope Francis gave special access to the archives to Msgr. Gilfredo Marengo, a professor at Rome's Pontifical John Paul II Theological Institute for Marriage and Family Sciences.
The results of his research were published in Italian in early July in the book, "The Birth of an Encyclical: 'Humanae Vitae' in the Light of the Vatican Archives."
In a note to reporters, Msgr. Marengo said his research revealed four little-known facts: Pope Paul approved an encyclical, "De Nascendae Prolis" ("On a Child's Birth"), in early May 1968, but was convinced by translators in the Vatican Secretariat of State that it still needed work; a new draft was corrected by hand by Pope Paul; on several occasions the future St. John Paul II sent suggestions, including an extensive treatment of the theme, but there is no evidence that they were used heavily in the final document; and Pope Paul asked the 199 bishops at the 1967 world Synod of Bishops to send him reflections on the theme of the regulation of births.
Msgr. Marengo said the request to the synod members was a surprise. It is not included in any report about the synod itself.
"The news about the desire of the pope to consult all the members of the synodal assembly is very important," he said, "because one of the accusations repeated most often after the publication of 'Humanae Vitae' was that the pope decided to act alone, in a manner that was not collegial."
The pope received only 25 responses in the period between Oct. 9, 1967, and May 31, 1968, Msgr. Marengo said. And, perhaps more surprising, of those, only seven bishops asked Pope Paul to repeat the Catholic Church's teaching against the use of contraceptives.
The other responses -- including a joint U.S. response from Cardinal Lawrence Shehan of Baltimore, Cardinal John Krol of Philadelphia, Archbishop John Dearden of Detroit and Bishop John Wright of Pittsburgh -- exhibited an openness to the use of artificial birth control in some circumstances, however "none of them would say that using the pill is a good thing," Msgr. Marengo told Catholic News Service.
Bishop Fulton J. Sheen of Rochester, New York, and Cardinal Karol Wojtyla of Krakow, Poland -- the future Pope John Paul II -- were among the seven bishops urging a reaffirmation of church teaching that using contraceptives was wrong.
"The pope never thought of proceeding alone, putting the collegial profile of the Petrine ministry in parentheses," Msgr. Marengo wrote.
But consultation is not the same thing as taking a vote. And bishops were not the only ones asked for their input. Long before the synod, and before Pope Paul was elected to lead the church, St. John XXIII had appointed a small committee to study the issue of the regulation of birth.
Pope Paul expanded the commission, which included several married couples. The commission's work ended in 1966 with the leaking of a report by the majority of members asserting artificial contraception was not intrinsically evil; minority reports, insisting contraception was morally wrong, were leaked in response.
After reading the commission reports and the bishops' input, Msgr. Marengo wrote, Pope Paul "found himself in a situation that was not easy. His judgment had matured, and he felt obliged in conscience to express it in virtue of his apostolic ministry, knowing well that going in that direction would place him at a predictable and painful distance from sectors of the church community that were not marginal."
In fact, less than a week after the encyclical was published, Pope Paul held a general audience and spoke about just how weighty the decision was. "Never before have we felt so heavily, as in this situation, the burden of our office," he said July 31, 1968. "We studied, read and discussed as much as we could; and we also prayed very much about it."
For Msgr. Marengo, the process of drafting "Humanae Vitae" cannot be understood without recognizing the changes in the church unleased by the Second Vatican Council, including on the theme of marriage and parenthood.
"Since the council in 'Gaudium et Spes' recognized 'responsible parenthood' as a value -- changing in a fundamental way the vision of marriage -- the idea of many was that it required a change in the church's sexual morality as well," he told CNS.
"The difficulty for Pope Paul VI was in how to explain that the use of contraceptives was not licit, but to do so in the light of an affirmation of responsible parenthood," he said.
The encyclical's emphasis on the "inseparable connection" between the "unitive and the procreative" qualities of married love, he said, marked a significant change in church teaching from before Vatican II; previously, the church taught that the primary purpose of marriage was for procreation.
Blessed Paul's personal work in rewriting the encyclical's "pastoral directives" also reflects the teaching of Vatican II, he said. Previously, "the magisterial task was to explain, and the pastoral task was to tell people to accept."
"'You must obey' was the classic pastoral approach," Msgr. Marengo said.
But, he said, "Pope Paul broke this schema, saying, 'I will explain the teaching and if you try to understand it, you will see that it is true and is what is best for you.'"
— Cindy Wooden, Catholic News Service
Bishop Robert Barron: Paul VI, prophet
This month we mark the 50th anniversary of Pope Paul VI’s deeply controversial encyclical letter “Humanae Vitae.” I won’t bore you with the details of the innumerable battles, disagreements, and ecclesial crises that followed upon this text.
Suffice it to say that this short, pithily argued letter became a watershed in the post-conciliar Catholic Church and one of the most significant points of contention between liberals and conservatives. Its fundamental contention is that the moral integrity of the sexual act is a function of the coming together of its “procreative and unitive” dimensions. That is to say, sexual intercourse is ethically upright only in the measure that it is expressive of love between married partners and remains open to the conception of a child. When, through a conscious choice, the partners introduce an artificial block to procreation – when, in a word, they separate the unitive and procreative finalities of the sexual act – they do something which is contrary to God’s will.
Again, within the context of this brief article I won’t detail the arguments for and against this position. But I would like to draw particular attention to a remarkable passage in “Humanae Vitae,” namely section 17, in which Paul VI plays the prophet and lays out, clearly and succinctly, what he foresees as consequences of turning away from the Church’s classic teaching on sex. Though he is convinced that artificial contraception is morally bad in itself, he’s also persuaded that it would, in the long run, adversely affect general societal attitudes regarding sex. Here is a first observation: “Let them consider how easily this course of action could open wide the way for marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards. Not much experience is needed to be fully aware of human weakness and to understand that human beings – and especially the young, who are so exposed to temptation – need incentives to keep the moral law, and it is an evil thing to make it easy for them to break that law.”
Does anyone doubt that, in the last 50 years, we have seen a profound attenuation of marital fidelity? Could anyone possibly contest that the last half century has witnessed a significant breakdown of the institution of marriage? Is anyone so blind as not to see that during the last five decades “a lowering of moral standards” has taken place? To be sure, there are multiple causes of these declines, and certainly not all the blame can be ascribed to artificial contraception. However, Paul VI was intuiting something of great moment, namely, that once we commenced to redefine the nature of the sexual act, we placed ourselves on a very steep and slippery slope toward a complete voluntarism, whereby we utterly determine the meaning of sexuality, of marriage, and even of gender. And the rapid rise in pornography use, the sexual exploitation of children, and human trafficking are functions of this same arbitrariness. What was only vaguely envisioned and feared 50 years ago is now accepted more or less as a matter of course.
In that same section, Paul VI continues to prophesy: “Another effect that gives cause for alarm is that a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection.” In the post-Weinstein era, we hear practically every day of another celebrity who has treated women with disrespect, turning them indeed into objects for his own use and manipulation. The entire society is rightly outraged at this behavior, but precious few cultural commentators have noted the link between this kind of objectification and the conscious disassociation of the twin ends of the sexual act. When we are permitted casually to separate love from procreation – or as one analyst had it, to sever the link between sex and diapers – we place ourselves on a short road to reducing sexual intercourse to a form of self-indulgent recreation.
Section 17 of “Humanae Vitae” concludes with a startling act of prescience regarding the political implications of countenancing artificial contraception: “Finally, careful consideration should be given to the danger of this power passing into the hands of those public authorities who care little for the precepts of the moral law. Who will blame a government which in its attempt to resolve the problems affecting an entire country resorts to the same measures as are regarded as lawful by married people in the solution of a particular family difficulty? Who will prevent public authorities from favoring those contraceptive methods which they consider more effective? Should they regard this as necessary, they may even impose their use on everyone.” What might have seemed exaggerated, perhaps even slightly paranoid, in 1968 is now a commonplace. The HHS contraception mandate, which would require even Catholic institutions to provide insurance coverage for contraception and abortifacients, has been so aggressively pursued that even the Little Sisters of the Poor found themselves battling for their rights in court. Pope Francis, an ardent admirer of Paul VI, has picked up on this theme, bemoaning the “ideological colonization” that takes place when the Western powers attempt, through threat of economic sanctions, to impose their sexual program on the underdeveloped world.
This coming 50th anniversary would be a good time to take another look at “Humanae Vitae.” I might suggest we commence with section 17.
Bishop Robert Barron is the founder of Word on Fire Catholic Ministries and auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. He is also the host of “Catholicism,” an award-winning documentary about the Catholic faith.
Natural Family Planning Question and Answers
Men and women considering marriage yearn for certain things. They want to be accepted unconditionally by each other. They want their marriage to be filled with love and happiness. They want a family. In short, they want their marriage to be a source of joy and fulfillment their whole life long. God’s plan for marriage, from the time He first created human beings as male and female, has always included all this and more.
What does the Church teach about married love?
Marriage is more than a civil contract; it is a lifelong covenant of love between a man and a woman. It is an intimate partnership in which husbands and wives learn to give and receive love unselfishly, and then teach their children to do so as well. Christian marriage in particular is a “great mystery,” a sign of the love between Christ and His Church (Eph 5:32). Married love is powerfully embodied in the spouses’ sexual relationship, when they most fully express what it means to become “one body” (Gn 2:24) or “one flesh” (Mk 10:8, Mt 19:6). The Church teaches that the sexual union of husband and wife is meant to express the full meaning of love, its power to bind a couple together and its openness to new life.
What does this have to do with contraception?
A husband and wife express their committed love not only with words, but with the language of their bodies. Married love differs from any other love in the world. By its nature, the love of husband and wife is so complete, so ordered to a lifetime of communion with God and each other, that it is open to creating a new human being they will love and care for together. Part of God’s gift to husband and wife is this ability in and through their love to cooperate with God’s creative power. Therefore, the mutual gift of fertility is an integral part of the bonding power of marital intercourse. That power to create a new life with God is at the heart of what spouses share with each other.
Suppressing fertility by using contraception or sterilization denies part of the inherent meaning of married sexuality and does harm to the couple’s unity. The total giving of oneself, body and soul, to one’s beloved is no time to say: “I give you everything I am– except ...” The Church’s teaching is not only about observing a rule, but about preserving that total, mutual gift of two persons in its integrity.
Are couples expected to leave their family size entirely to chance?
Certainly not. The Church teaches that a couple may generously decide to have a large family, or may for serious reasons choose not to have more children for the time being or even for an indefinite period (“Humanae Vitae,” 10).
What should a couple do if they have a good reason to avoid having a child?
A married couple can engage in marital intimacy during the naturally infertile times in a woman’s cycle, or after child-bearing years, without violating the meaning of marital intercourse in any way. This is the principle behind natural family planning. Natural methods of family planning involve fertility education that enables couples to cooperate with the body as God designed it.
What is natural family planning?
Natural family planning is a general name for the methods of family planning that are based on a woman’s menstrual cycle. A man is fertile throughout his life, while a woman is fertile for only a few days each cycle during the child-bearing years. Some believe that NFP involves using a calendar to predict the fertile time. That is not what NFP is today. A woman experiences clear, observable signs indicating when she is fertile and when she is infertile. Learning to observe and understand these signs is at the heart of education in natural family planning.
When a couple decides to postpone pregnancy, NFP can be very effective. NFP can also be very helpful for couples who desire to have a child because it identifies the time of ovulation. It is used by many fertility specialists for this purpose. Thus a couple can have marital relations at a time when they know that conception is most likely to take place.
Is there really a difference between using contraception and practicing natural family planning?
On the surface, there may seem to be little difference. But the end result is not the only thing that matters, and the way we get to that result may make an enormous moral difference. Some ways respect God’s gifts to us while others do not. Couples who have practiced natural family planning after using contraception have experienced a profound difference in the meaning of their sexual intimacy.
When couples use contraception, either physical or chemical, they suppress their fertility, asserting that they alone have ultimate control over this power to create a new human life. With NFP, spouses respect God’s design for life and love. They may choose to refrain from sexual union during the woman’s fertile time, doing nothing to destroy the love-giving or life-giving meaning that is present. This is the difference between choosing to falsify the full marital language of the body and choosing at certain times not to speak that language.
What has been the impact of contraception on society? On married couples?
Many would likely be surprised at how long all Christian churches agreed on this teaching against contraception. It was only in 1930 that some Protestant denominations began to reject this long-held position. Those opposed to this trend predicted an increase in premarital sex, adultery, acceptance of divorce and abortion. Later, in 1968, Pope Paul VI warned that the use of contraception would allow one spouse to treat the other more like an object than a person, and that in time governments would be tempted to impose laws limiting family size. Pope John Paul II called attention to the close association between contraception and abortion, noting that “the negative values inherent in the ‘contraceptive mentality’ ... are such that they in fact strengthen this temptation (to abortion) when an unwanted life is conceived” (“Evangelium Vitae,” 13).
These predictions have come true. Today we see a pandemic of sexually transmitted diseases, an enormous rise in cohabitation, one in three children born outside of marriage, and abortion used by many when contraception fails. A failure to respect married love’s power to help create new life has eroded respect for life and for the sanctity of marriage.
Conclusion
By using contraception, couples may think that they are avoiding problems or easing tensions, that they are exerting control over their lives. But the gift of being able to help create another person, a new human being with his or her own life, involves profound relationships. It affects our relationship with God, who created us complete with this powerful gift. It involves whether spouses will truly love and accept each other as they are, including their gift of fertility. Finally, it involves the way spouses will spontaneously accept their child as a gift from God and the fruit of their mutual love. Like all important relationships with other persons, it is not subject solely to our individual control. In the end, this gift is far richer and more rewarding than that.
The Church’s teaching on marital sexuality is an invitation for men and women – an invitation to let God be God, to receive the gift of God’s love and care, and to let this gift inform and transform us, so we may share that love with each other and with the world.
— Excerpted from the U.S. bishops’ 2006 statement “Married Love and the Gift of Life”
At www.ccdoc.org/natural-family-planning: Learn more about natural family planning classes being held across the diocese, and find helpful guides on NFP apps, NFP-supportive doctors and much more
Natural Family Planning myths debunked
There are several common misconceptions regarding the principles and practice of Natural Family Planning. Check out the realities behind frequent myths.
MYTH
NFP is based on guesswork: it's what people used before modern science developed contraception.
REALITY
Natural Family Planning (NFP) is not based on folktales! NFP is a general title for the methods of family planning that are science-based, accurate, natural, healthy, reliable and moral. There are many NFP methods and all can be used to achieve, or to postpone, a pregnancy naturally.
NFP is based on scientific research about women's cycles of fertility. Over a century ago, scientists discovered cyclic changes in cervical mucus and their relation to ovulation. In the 1920s, scientists identified the temperature rise that signals ovulation. But it wasn't until the 1950s, that scientists developed programs to teach others how to observe and interpret these fertility signs.
NFP methods are grouped according to which signs of fertility are being observed and charted. They are as follows: the basal body temperature method (BBT) monitors changes in a woman's temperature when she wakes up each morning; the cervical mucus method ( more commonly called "Ovulation Method" or "OM") monitors changes in a woman's cervical mucus; the Sympto-Thermal Method (STM) combines observations of temperature and cervical mucus with other indicators, such as changes in the cervix and secondary fertility signs; and the Sympto-Hormonal Method (SHM), which is similar to the STM, includes the self-detection of reproductive hormones in the urine with the assistance of an ovulation predictor kit or fertility monitor.
MYTH
NFP can be used only by women with regular cycles.
REALITY
NFP does not depend on a woman having regular menstrual cycles. NFP treats each woman and each cycle as unique. These methods rely on daily observations of the woman's signs of fertility.
NFP works with menstrual cycles of any length and any degree of irregularity. NFP can be used during breastfeeding, just before menopause, and in other special circumstances. NFP allows a woman to understand the physical signals her body gives her to tell her when she is most likely to become pregnant (around the time of ovulation). Once the woman understands this information, she and her husband can use the information according to their family planning intentions (i.e., to either achieve or postpone pregnancy).
Instruction in NFP provides women with information about their bodies that is specific and observable. The natural methods can be used throughout a woman's reproductive life. These methods teach couples to monitor current, daily fertility signs of the woman's menstrual cycle. When special circumstances occur, (e.g., stress, illness, breastfeeding, post-miscarriage, perimenopause, etc.), NFP instructors can provide additional guidance in interpreting signs of fertility.
MYTH
NFP is too complicated to be used by most people.
REALITY
NFP can be used by anyone who learns the method and is motivated to apply the guidelines.
NFP information is easy to learn. In fact, the methods have been successfully adapted to suit the needs of people and cultures all around the world. The key to using NFP effectively is for couples to learn together the information about their combined fertility, and to change their behavior, applying the guidelines according to whether they wish to achieve or postpone pregnancy. This process is learned in NFP education, where the couple can practice observing and charting the wife's signs of fertility. This is not hard to learn, but will take effort. NFP couples say that NFP is worth the effort because many benefits will be gained, including stronger communication, mutual responsibility and greater respect for each other.
MYTH
NFP is not a reliable method of family planning.
REALITY
NFP is not only reliable, but it is the only authentic method of family planning.
Since NFP methods are not contraception, their effectiveness works both ways—for achieving and postponing pregnancy. When couples wish to achieve a pregnancy they can time sexual intercourse to the fertile window of the menstrual cycle, thereby optimizing the possibility of becoming pregnant.When wishing to avoid pregnancy, studies show that couples who follow their NFP method's guidelines correctly, and all the time, achieve effectiveness rates of 97-99%. Others, who are unclear about their family planning intention (i.e., spacing or limiting pregnancy) or are less motivated, will not consistently follow the method's guidelines and have a lower effectiveness rate of 80-90%.
Effectiveness of Natural Family Planning in Avoiding Pregnancy
Couples who carefully follow all the rules for avoiding pregnancy all the time: 97%-99%
Couples who do not follow all the rules for avoiding pregnancy all the time: 80%-90%
*Note: these percentages represent the range of effectiveness provided by NFP studies. They are based on the number of pregnancies among 100 couples in one year of NFP method use.
Myth
There is no difference between NFP and contraception.
REALITY
NFP methods are different from and better than contraception.
NFP methods:
• have no harmful side effects
• are environmentally friendly
• are virtually cost free
• cooperate with, rather than suppress, a couple's fertility
• can be used both to achieve and avoid pregnancy
• call for shared responsibility and cooperation by husband and wife
• require mutual communication
• foster respect for and acceptance of the total person
• encourage maturity and the virtue of chastity
• value the child
• honor and safeguard the unitive and procreative meanings of married love.
In other words, there is a big difference between NFP and contraception. NFP, as opposed to contraception, does not deliberately frustrate the procreative potential of sex. So, NFP is morally acceptable while contraception is actually sinful and never morally right. NFP is unique because it enables its users to work with the body rather than against it. Fertility is viewed as a gift and reality to live, not a problem to be solved. Ultimately, NFP respects God's design for married love.
MYTH
NFP does not allow for sexual "spontaneity."
REALITY
Most of the time, "spontaneity" in sex is itself a myth!
Modern culture is awash in sexual messages. This may fool us into thinking that "everyone" is having sex as often as possible and always "spontaneously!" Even married couples may fall into this trap. Or, they may think that their sex lives would be more spontaneous "if only" their spouse wanted sex at the same time they did. The reality is that most marital sexual encounters are planned, or at least happen in situations favorable to love-making that are setup by agreement regardless of the family planning method used. Otherwise, in the press of daily life with jobs, household chores, social commitments, children's demands, etc., a husband and wife would rarely have sex!
It's not necessarily bad news that married couples often plan on a time to have sexual relations. A loving invitation given in advance means a time of healthy anticipation for both husband and wife. For NFP couples who are trying to postpone a pregnancy, such an invitation in the days of sexual abstinence can mean living a "chaste courtship" that will be followed by a "mini-honeymoon." NFP couples often talk about how the times of sexual abstinence have helped them deepen their expressions of love for each other through loving gestures, "date nights," significant conversations and so forth. This is not to say that the times of abstinence are not challenging. They can be! With a positive attitude and living through it together, husband and wife can use periodic sexual abstinence to grow individually and as a couple. Such self-mastery fosters authentic freedom where one's desires are put in service to the other—a necessary ingredient for marriage! Real sexual spontaneity depends upon real freedom—and NFP fosters such freedom.
MYTH
Couples who use NFP have sex less often than couples who use contraception.
REALITY
Frequency of sexual intercourse is based on a couple's intention and desire, not on the family planning method.
NFP couples have sex as much as other married couples. They just have it on a different schedule according to whether they wish to avoid pregnancy or not. When spacing births, they would abstain from sexual intercourse during the fertile time of the woman's menstrual cycle. Keeping in mind that every woman is unique and every cycle is unique, the days of sexual abstinence will vary. But it's important to ask if the "frequency" of sexual intercourse is the right measure of fulfillment in a marital relationship. Most married couples would say that it is more important for their sexual relationship to reflect the quality of their marriage, that is, healthy, loving, intimate and respectful. NFP can be a great help to couples who are interested in building a strong marriage because NFP supports the gift of one's spouse, the gift of life and God's design for married love!
MYTH
The Catholic Church wants people to have as many babies as possible.
REALITY
In fact the Catholic Church encourages people to be both generous and responsible stewards over their fertility.
In this view of "responsible parenthood" married couples carefully think about the just reasons they may have to postpone pregnancy. When making decisions about the number and spacing of children in their family, they weigh their responsibilities to God, each other, the children they already have, and the world in which they live.
Responsible parenthood is lived within the structures that God has established in human nature. The nature of sexual intercourse, which is both life-giving (pro-creative) and love-giving (unitive), reflects a Divine plan. That is why the Church teaches that husband and wife must not actively intervene to separate their fertility from their bodily union. NFP methods respect the Divine plan and are at the service of authentic married love.
MYTH
The Catholic Church does not want married couples to have sex just for pleasure.
REALITY
The Catholic Church wants married couples to have the best sex possible!
Sexual pleasure in marriage is good. Pleasure is a part of intercourse, however, not its sole focus. There is, after all, a difference between simply "having sex," which includes actions aimed at one's own pleasure, and "making love," which involves giving oneself to another. Put another way, there is a difference between "self-taking" and "self-giving."
"Making love" as God planned it for marriage, means that husband and wife offer themselves to each other as a gift. This sexual gift is faithful and exclusive. It rejoices in the other person, is respectful of God's design, and welcomes a child who may come from their union. It thus has the potential to build the family. In expressing the mutual love and commitments of husband and wife, sexual intercourse becomes a lasting source of joy in their marital relationship.
Padre Santiago Mariani: Serie sobre el amor y la vida
En julio vamos a explorar juntos dos temas fundamentales: ¡el amor y la vida! La meta no será tratar a profundidad estas maravillosas realidades, sino trazar un panorama general en cinco brochazos.
Ojala nos ayuden a recibir y regocijarnos en el plan que Dios tiene para nosotros, para que las familias se fortalezcan y que en ellas aumente la alegría.
— Padre Santiago Mariani, vicario parroquial de la Iglesia de San Vicente de Paúl en Charlotte
Parte 1: El Origen y la Naturaleza del Amor
Hace un par de semanas celebramos la Fiesta de la Santísima Trinidad, una fiesta que nos habla de la intimidad y del amor. Porque así como un hombre abre el corazón a su amada, así Dios nos reveló los profundos secretos de su vida íntima. Dios es tres Personas en una Naturaleza Divina—Padre, Hijo y Espíritu Santo—o sea, una comunidad eterna de Amor en la que cada Uno, siendo totalmente Dios, es totalmente Dios en comunión con los Otros Dos. Por toda la eternidad el Padre conoce, ama y vive en Su Hijo, engendrándolo de esa manera a la existencia. Por toda la eternidad, el Hijo recibe Vida del Padre y le responde entregándose completamente a Él, sin excluir nada. De este intercambio mutuo e in-terminable de Vida procede el Espíritu Santo, ¡el Fruto y la Unión de Su Amor!
Por Su infinita Bondad, Dios anhelaba compartir la Dicha de Su Vida con otros, y por eso creó el universo como un don gratuito. Cada creatura surgió de Su Poder para participar en Su Existencia, cada una a su manera. Y luego, en el pináculo de la creación, el Dios de Amor creó al hombre con especial cuidado a Su imagen y semejanza, creándolos desde el principio como pareja: "varón y hembra los creó" (Gen 1, 27).
Es por eso que el amor es tan natural para nosotros. Sabemos, casi por instinto, que para que el amor sea verdadero debe incluir la entrega libre y completa de uno mismo. Decir: "Te tomo por esposa solo en un 80%", no bastaría. Y si la respuesta fuese, "Me entrego a ti, siempre y cuando pueda disponer del 5% a mi antojo", sería simplemente un desastre. ¡Raramente las parejas necesitan convencerse de este hecho básico! Y qué hermoso es cuando las parejas sí hacen los votos de su sacrificio total y mutuo, poniendo en sus labios la verdad que yace en sus corazones: "Te amo por completo, con todo mi entendimiento y voluntad, y prometo ser tuyo—completamente tuyo—hasta que la muerte nos separe”.
Y a medida que este regalo total de si mismo se planta en el corazón del otro y se renueva regularmente con el tiempo, vida—nueva vida—¡brota a la existencia! Porque el amor matrimonial no solo es total sino también fructífero, un reflejo—limitado pero profundo—de ese Amor Eterno Que-Da-Vida del Gran Uno-en-Tres y Tres-en-Uno.
Parte 2: Sobre la Generación de Nueva Vida
La semana pasada reflexionamos cómo el verdadero amor conyugal, por naturaleza, une a la pareja como una sola carne, y da fruto a través de esta unión poderosa—un reflejo del Amor eterno y fructífero de Dios. Por su entrega mutua, en las alegrías y tristezas, las parejas expanden y enriquecen sus vidas, haciéndose así más bellas y más abiertas a esa alegría que perdura (cf., “¡no sabía lo que era vivir hasta que te encontré!”). Y esto puede hacerse regularmente de una manera muy concreta y elocuente con el abrazo matrimonial, en el cual se renuevan y afirman los votos nupciales, con palabras ahora habladas por los mismos cuerpos: “Toma, pues este es mi cuerpo—mi propia persona—que está siendo ofrecido totalmente a ti.”
¡Es a través de esta entrega reciproca que las parejas se vuelven co-creadoras con Dios! Dicho de otra manera, es por una unión completa de amor que los niños son tejidos a la existencia, criados, y ofrecidos en agradecimiento a Dios como los regalos—¡no posesiones!—que son. Por tanto, la orden Divina “sean fructíferos y multiplíquense” se extiende a través del tiempo a todas las parejas, con nuestro Dios bendiciendo con gracias especiales a aquellos padres que deciden con deliberación generosa y prudente criar una familia numerosa como un ejercicio real de paternidad responsable.
Habiendo dicho esto, la Iglesia sí reconoce que hay tiempos en los cuales por razones bien fundamentadas basadas en factores físicos, psicológicos, económicos o sociales, una pareja también puede juiciosamente evitar un nuevo embarazo—inclusive por un periodo de tiempo indefinido—sin ofender en lo mínimo las leyes de Dios. (cf., Humanae Vitae 10,16). Sabiendo esto, es vital para las parejas que han decidido tener más hijos que recuerden que sí es posible para los demás espaciar los embarazos como otra expresión de paternidad responsable. De la misma manera, también es importante para los que legítimamente están evitando el embarazo reconocer que las parejas que están teniendo más hijos en virtuosa cooperación con Dios lo hacen como un servicio valiente y admirable a nuestro mundo.
Antes de profundizar más en este tema, un consejo: hay que tener cuidado de no juzgar a los demás solo por las apariencias. Hay numerosas parejas que con ilusión desean tener más hijos—o por lo sea uno—y se encuentran en la dolorosa situación de no lograrlo: “Dame hijos,” exclamó Raquel a su esposo Jacob, “porque si no, ¡me muero!” (Gen 30:1). Este sufrimiento se intensifica aún más por las personas que los juzgan diciendo que no tiene hijos por “puro egoísmo”, lo cual es contrario a la realidad. Por lo tanto, siempre debemos asumir lo mejor de los demás, y orar por los que sabemos que se encuentran en esta situación. Ya que hasta en estos casos difíciles, el amor de la pareja puede igual dar fruto abundante a través de la adopción o por actos expansivos de caridad, paciencia, y confianza en el poder y cuidado de nuestro Padre amoroso.
Parte 3: Un Enemigo Común y Sin Embargo Letal del Amor
La semana pasada consideramos cómo la unión sexual dentro del matrimonio es una forma hermosa de renovar los votos matrimoniales. También, dijimos que es posible espaciar legítimamente los embarazos. Pero ¿cómo hacerlo?
Una respuesta común, aun entre cristianos bien intencionados, es la anticoncepción, o impedimento deliberado de la fertilidad del acto conyugal. Esto puede hacerse antes del acto conyugal usando, por ejemplo, un dispositivo intrauterino o DIU (en realidad un abortivo ya que impide la implantación del bebe embrión ya plenamente humano en la matriz materna), “la pastilla” (que también puede actuar como abortivo) o la esterilización quirúrgica. También durante el acto conyugal, por ejemplo, a través del uso del condón o del método de retiro. Y, finalmente, después del acto, ya sea por “La Pastilla del Día Des¬pués”/“Plan B” o el aborto di-recto. Estas y otras opciones son tan aceptadas, que las parejas se sorprenden al enterarse que la anticoncepción no solo es algo incorrecto (como eructar en público) sino un mal intrínseco y grave: intrínseco ya que es inmoral por su propia naturaleza y no puede ser disculpado por la consciencia de uno en ningún caso; grave puesto que es una obra de las tinieblas diametralmente opuesta al plan de Dios; maligno ya que nos previene de caminar fielmente con Cristo, recibirlo en la Santa Comunión, y, al cabo de todo, entrar a su Reino de Luz.
Pero ¿qué es lo que hace a la anticoncepción tan inherentemente mala, aquí y en todas partes, a través de las culturas y el tiempo?
En parte, la anticoncepción es tan abominable porque no solo rechaza el potencial procreativo del abrazo marital, sino que también deforma de tal manera la unión de la pareja, objetiva y gravemente, al mismo tiempo (aunque los dos cónyuges estén de acuerdo en su uso). Para entender esto mejor, recordemos que para que el amor marital sea amor verdadero, debe de ser una entrega total: no “Yo me entrego a ti un 75%”, sino, “Completamente y por siempre!” La anticoncepción dice algo diferente: “Yo te acepto a ti, pero no a tu fertilidad. Yo me entrego a ti, pero solo te doy parte”. Este no es ni el lenguaje ni la realidad del amor conyugal, sino un engaño—simplemente una mentira. Es por eso que al frustrarse la fertilidad del acto se frustra también su poder de unir a la pareja como una sola carne, ya que no expresa—y a lo tanto no puede renovar—una completa unión de amor marital.
Entonces, ¿porque nuestra Madre la Iglesia es tan inflexible con el tema de la anticoncepción? Ella está en contra de este profundo mal porqué está dispuesta a utilizar la autoridad que Dios le dio ¡para luchar por tu amor, para luchar por tu matrimonio, para trabajar por tu alegría! Ya que, afortunadamente, está lista para guiarnos con sus cuidados maternos en estos temas de vital importancia, aunque esto signifique ir, dolorosa pero fielmente, en contra de las fuertes corrientes culturales—amándonos, sus querido hijos e hijas, hasta el final.
Parte 4: Planificar nuestra Familia con Gracia
Hoy vamos a considerar cómo las parejas pueden, práctica y moralmente, posponer nuevos nacimientos por razones bien cimentadas. Como sabemos, mientras cada acto del abrazo marital debe completarse de tal modo que pudiera generarse una nueva vida, esto no significa que cada acto resulte al fin del cabo en un embarazo. Ya que Dios, en su sabiduría, ha creado a las mujeres de tal manera que sean fértiles solo una pequeña parte del mes. Por lo cual, las parejas pueden abstenerse de tener relaciones durante el tiempo fértil y unirse de nuevo en el tiempo infértil, un método llamado la Planificación Natural de la Familia.
Pero, ¿no es esto un asunto de suerte? Afortunadamente no lo es. Hoy en día el ciclo de la mujer puede ser monitoreado con gran precisión gracias a marcadores biológicos evaluables diariamente (y con la ayuda de apps!). Por eso, cuando los métodos modernos de PNF se usan correctamente, su efectividad es tan alta que su rango de confiabilidad llega a valores de 95.2% a 99.6% (en un estudio, el Método Marquette alcanzo el 100%; Fehring 2012). Y, como varios de ellos no dependen totalmente, o a veces ni en parte, de fórmulas o de contar días, como en el método antiguo del Ritmo, los métodos modernos de PNF pueden funcionar hasta con ciclos irregulares, aun cuando esto requiera trabajar, al principio, muy de cerca con un instructor.
Los beneficios de la PNF son numerosos. Primero y sobretodo, preserva la integridad de la entrega de uno mismo, permitiendo que el abrazo marital se mantenga verdaderamente marital, o sea, una completa unión de amor en que todo es dado y recibido. La PNF también ayuda a fortalecer el romance y la intimidad, ya que obliga a la pareja a mostrarse afecto de otras maneras vitales (emocionalmente, intelectualmente, espiritualmente, etc.). Además de fomentar el dialogo, la PNF permite el crecimiento en la paciencia y el dominio propio, preparando así a las parejas para esos momentos inevitables de separación o enfermedad. Mientras que la anticoncepción puede infligir efectos secundarios severos, y hasta letales (también, irónica y tristemente, a mujeres que tratan de vivir una vida saludable y “orgánica”), la PNF no tiene efectos secundarios, y más aún, ayuda a la mujer a estar más pendiente de su salud. De hecho, ¡ha logrado identificar irregularidades biológicas que de otra manera podrían haber sido ignoradas! Finalmente, la PNF ayuda también espiritualmente, ya que mantiene a la pareja abierta a la gracia de Dios y la ayuda a penetrar más profundamente en la oración durante el tiempo de abstinencia (cf., 1 Cor 7:5).
Como nota final, cabe señalar que la anticoncepción y PNF son dos maneras muy diferentes de alcanzar la misma meta (uno preservando y nutriendo el regalo de uno mismo y el otro previniéndolo y pervirtiéndolo). Es posible, sin embargo, usar los dos métodos con la misma mentalidad deformada: la de ver a los niños como obstáculos a nuestra felicidad y una carga que debe ser evitada a todo costo. Por lo tanto, es necesario para los que practican PNF que cultiven una vida de oración profunda, para que el Espíritu de Dios continúe la acción purificante que nos acerca cada vez más—¡a veces a través de las sorpresas!—al Abrazo Celestial.
Parte 5: Saliendo Adelantes Juntos con Cristo
Al terminar esta serie de boletines, algunos habrán encontrado solamente un repaso sobre el amor matrimonial en el Plan de Dios. Para otros, sin embargo, este material quizás haya llegado como una sorpresa difícil, especialmente para quienes se hayan dado cuenta de que el método anticonceptivo que están usando es abortivo. ¿Cómo, entonces, podemos salir adelantes juntos?
Primero y principalmente, ¡no tengan miedo! Dios es misericordioso, Dios perdona, Dios da la gracia para comenzar de nuevo, no importa cuánto tiempo haya pasado. Aunque la idea de dejar la anticoncepción atrás podrá parecer desalentadora, vayan a una de las muchas clases Diocesanas de PNF (www.ccdoc.org/nfp) y aprendan como también ustedes pueden hacer el cambio. Y aunque a veces fallen en sus metas, por favor no se desanimen. Simplemente vuelvan humildemente a Dios con corazones contritos, denle gracias por esta nueva oportunidad de aprendizaje, e inténtenlo de nuevo con una confianza renovada y una fe perseverante. Recen con su pareja, encuentren paz a través de la confesión y fortaleza en la Eucaristía, ¡ríanse mucho con sus amigos!
¿Será difícil a veces? Sin duda. En conclusión: la abstinencia temporal o permanente puede ser difícil, bien difícil—¡hasta frustrante! Sin embargo, en Cristo todo es posible, y con su gracia todos podemos crecer progresivamente en la verdadera libertad: libres de la esclavitud a nuestros impulsos, libres de entregarnos a los demás con alegría. ¡Y vale tanto la pena! Dice mucho el hecho de que, por ejemplo, 74 de 100 parejas hayan encontrado que la PNF es beneficiosa para sus relaciones. (Vandevusse, 2003); así también, entre las parejas que usan PNF, la probabilidad de que terminen en divorcio es 53% menor (NSFG, 2011). El amor cuesta, pero nos da una felicidad que excede con creces cualquier emoción que la lujuria pueda proveer.
Para aquellos que se han esterilizado quirúrgicamente, sepan que no es necesario revertirlas—la contrición y una confesión honesta son suficientes (aun en estos casos, el uso de la PNF sigue siendo muy beneficioso). Para aquellos cuya pareja usa anticonceptivos, por favor lean en línea el ‘Vademécum para Confesores,’ 13-14, para encontrar ayuda práctica y sensible.
Sin embargo, esta no es una tarea solamente para las parejas, sino para toda la parroquia: la tarea de enseñar, todos juntos, a las nuevas generaciones a apreciar la virtud del amor casto. Esto requerirá hacerles ver el atractivo de la castidad y la dignidad de cada ser humano. También requerirá luchar contra toda tendencia de reducir a los demás—incluyendo a nosotros mismos—al nivel de mera cosas, como es el caso, por ejemplo, con el uso de la pornografía, o del uso de la ropa inmodesta (tanto en la iglesia como en la oficina, en el gimnasio o en el hogar). Pero sobre todo, requerirá que todos estemos decididos a tomar este reto internamente. Es en el seno de nuestros corazones donde debemos escoger a Cristo una y otra (¡y otra!) vez más, para que podamos todos vivir nuestro llamado con una convicción cada vez más profunda, y así proclamar el deseo de nuestro Novio de unirnos más y más a Él Mismo.