Marriage rooted in self-sacrifice, modeling God’s love
Marriage rooted in self-sacrifice, modeling God’s loveCHARLOTTE — Married couples celebrating special anniversaries this year were the invited guests of Bishop Peter Jugis Nov. 6 at St. John Neumann Church. The annual wedding anniversary Mass honors couples who have witnessed to the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage for 25 years or more. Sponsored by Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte, the event includes a reception with the bishop after Mass.
“I take this opportunity on this beautiful fall day to thank you for the witness that you give to your love for each other and also your love for the Lord,” Bishop Jugis said at the start of his homily.
Drawing from the special readings selected for the anniversary Mass – Genesis chapter 2, 1 Corinthians and the Gospel of John – Bishop Jugis reminded those present that everyone is made in the image of God.
“We bear the image of Almighty God within our soul. We know from the definition that St. John gives us in the New Testament that God is love. And if we are made in the image of God, then we are made in the image of that love, who is God. It is from Him that we learn the true nature of love.”
He pointed out that contemporary society presents many different definitions, ideas and notions of what constitutes love. But the One who is love, God Himself, teaches us the true nature and meaning of love.
“Love is faithful. Love is true. Love is holy, because God is holy,” Bishop Jugis said. “God shows us that love is not self-seeking or closed and inward looking, but love always moves beyond itself into self-giving. It cannot stay locked up or closed within itself. It is always moving outward.”
He drew from the example of the Holy Trinity, pointing out that the love for the Father is always moving outward to the Son. The love of the Son is always moving outward to the Father. That love, that bond between them, is the Holy Spirit.
“God is love, and that love is what we are called to imitate and reflect here on this earth. That self-giving love is always moving out of itself to care and concern of the beloved. Love is there, as God teaches us, even if it entails suffering or sacrifice. That is the love God models and presents for us. It is the love Jesus has shown us. This is the love which makes marriage work,” he emphasized.
Deacon Bill and Lillian Griffin of St. Matthew Church in south Charlotte, who have been married 50 years, were among the couples at the Mass. They said they have come to know the true nature of love after a half-century of matrimony and raising three children, one with special needs.
“I think one of the secrets (of a successful marriage) is that God has always been part of our lives,” Deacon Griffin said. “Any time that we had a problem, it brought us closer together.”
“We’ve been like one, rather than two, people. We have become one. I think you need a sense of humor because there are a lot of ups and downs. You just have to go with the flow,” Lillian Griffin added.
Ray and Helen Maxon of St. Vincent de Paul Church, also married 50 years, said one of the secrets of a happy marriage is “don’t go to bed mad.” They advise young couples to “keep close to the Church.”
“Our faith has always been very strong,” Ray Maxon said. He and Helen traveled to other countries over the years and lived in France for four years.
“I always said we have got to get to church, no matter where we were,” Helen Maxon said. They were comforted that no matter what country they were in, there were Masses celebrated and they could understand what was going on in the Mass thanks to the Latin used in the liturgy.
Daniel and Danica Le of Sacred Heart Church in Salisbury are celebrating 25 years of marriage. When asked what their secret is, they replied, “Trusting, honoring (one another) and being faithful.”
Bishop Jugis asked all of the couples present at Mass, “How is it that you are able to arrive at this milestone in your marriage?”
“Isn’t it because you have placed the Lord first in your marriage? That His grace and His love have been the foundation of your married life? Isn’t it because it is a sacrament that you are living and the sacrament entails the presence of Almighty God and His life-giving love and His life-giving grace?”
He reminded them that this sacramental grace is always available to them – not just on the day they were married, but a living sacrament that flows from the Heart of Jesus into their lives and their marriages.
“May this anniversary Mass help you to turn to God in thanksgiving for all the blessings He has bestowed upon you,” he prayed.
— SueAnn Howell, senior reporter
HUNTERSVILLE — Nearly 60 parishioners of St. Mark Church gathered at Northlake Memorial Gardens Cemetery for an outdoor Mass for the repose of all the faithful departed.
The Mass was offered by Father Cory Catron, parochial vicar, and assisted by Deacon Louis Pais. The Mass was followed by a procession around the grounds to bless the graves.
Unlike many in society, Father Catron said in his homily, Catholics are more comfortable with death because we put our hope in a living God knowing that we too will rise again with Him.
He said that we remember all those loved ones who have gone before us here at the altar on this day, all throughout this month and every day of our lives we pray that God has mercy upon them. During the procession and blessing of the graves, the group prayed the Litany of the Saints, led by Nancy McGahey.
— Photo provided by Amy Burger
Included in the gallery:
HUNTERSVILLE — St. Mark preschoolers also dressed as their favorite saint and took part in an annual All Saints Day procession at the school.
— Photo provided by Amy Burger
WINSTON-SALEM — At an All Saints Day Fair at Our Lady of Mercy Church, students learned about and dressed up as various saints, including one student who wore the old habit of the Franciscan Sisters of Philadelphia, pictured with Sister Kathy Grniel, a member of that order.
— Photo provided by Conventual Franciscan Father Carl Zdancewicz
DENVER — Holy Spirit held an All Saints Celebration for children on October 30th. This photo features the Living Saints Museum. Saint is Elizabeth Ann Seton is portrayed by Sarah Bartro as Crystal King with children Carter and Clare learn about the saint's life. Other activities included games and crafts, a reading nook and a saints selfie station.
— Doreen Sugierski
FOREST CITY — Children at Immaculate Conception Church celebrated Halloween as All Hallows’ Day by dressing up as their favorite saint. Saints represented in the photo include St. Faustina, accompanied by Jesus, St. Teresa of Calcutta, St. Patrick, St. Thérèse of Lisieux, St. Joseph, St. Francis, St. Philomena, St. Maximilian Kolbe, St. Michael the Archangel, and St. John Paul II.
— Giuliana Polinari Riley | Catholic News Herald
HUNTERSVILLE — St. Mark students attended Mass Nov. 3 to celebrate All Saints Day. The yearly tradition sees all of the second-grade students come to Mass dressed as their favorite saint. But it is not just a dress-up day for the students. It is part of a larger class project where they study their saint, create poster and make class presentations for their sacrament preparation leading up to their first Holy Communion in the spring.
— Photo provided by Amy Burger
CHARLOTTE — St. Ann parish offered a Missa Cantata (High Mass in the Extraordinary Form) for the feast of All Souls’ Day. The Mass was offered by pastor Father Timothy Reid and after Mass, Father Reid vested in a new black requiem cope to offer prayers for the parish’s deceased members. The cope was funded by an initiative of the Charlotte Latin Mass Community and St. Ann parishioners. The evening also featured two other requiem Masses, at St. Thomas Aquinas Church in Charlotte and St. Michael Church in Gastonia.
— Mike FitzGerald | Catholic News Herald
GASTONIA — Students at St. Michael School also researched and dressed up as their favorite saint in preparation for All Saints Day. After their research was complete, students wrote a narrative about the saint’s life in the first person. Students then memorized their narrative and presented it at the “Saints Alive” museum. On Oct. 28, the “saints” took their place in the museum (a.k.a. gym), and held their pose until the red button on their back was pushed. Once their button was pushed, the saint came alive and told all about his or her life to the visitors. Parents, students and staff were impressed with the students’ depiction of their saint and some even said they learned a lot from the young saints!
— Photo provided by Tammy Eason
Father Casey ColemanImagine you spend years studying for a certain career. You get a job in that field, achieve a degree of success – and then a call, a little tug, begins to pull at your heart… God is calling you to a religious vocation.
For several priests in our diocese, this is their story. Our Lord called them from a career in engineering to a life of service to His Church. For National Vocation Awareness Week, they share their stories with the Catholic News Herald:
FATHER CASEY COLEMAN
Was there anything is particular that drew me from the field of engineering? I would have to say yes, and that was the desire to save souls.
I remember an evening not long before I was actually able to quit my job at Corning Cable Systems, LLC, a fiber optics telecommunications company where I worked as a development engineer designing fiber optic connectors and associated manufacturing equipment and processes. I had completed my application process to the Diocese of Charlotte and was waiting to hear if I had been accepted.
I was heading back into work during an already long day, as part of an already long week, to check on some test samples that came from a pilot manufacturing line we had set up in our plant in Mexico, part of environmental testing for product qualification before releasing the product to full live production and sales.
I had gone to Wendy’s for a late dinner, I think it was around 8 or 9 in the evening, and as I was getting ready to get out of my car to go back into work, I remember thinking how I couldn’t wait for priesthood, because I would much rather be going into a hospital at that hour to anoint someone than going in to the office to check on an environmental test.
I thought to myself, in the end what does all this really mean with respect to the salvation of souls? How is my doing this really helping God? All I am doing is helping this company run, which does supply needed jobs, but in the end all I am doing is helping this company.
I thought, “I want to help God save souls, something that really means something.” This desire was not for my good, but for the good of others that they may know the love of God.
At the risk of oversimplifying things and sounding a little cold or callous, as an engineer I was a problem solver. I was given certain needs or demands with a certain set of requirements and I was asked to find a solution. The work often required a lot of patience, both with the design process and with people.
Serving as a priest, I find there are many similarities. The end product or goal is to get people to heaven.
I have to look at and address whatever problems they are having, and help them find solutions within the unchanging teachings of the Church.
My own path to discernment was part of my personal conversion. I was at a point of dissatisfaction in life. I had pretty much everything someone at my point in life was supposed to have: a good degree from a reputable school, a well-paying job and all the comforts of life that those things could provide.
However, something was still lacking. Through a number of circumstances of life, I was re-introduced to the Catholic faith that I had been given at baptism. The more I got to know all the truths of the faith that I had missed out on growing up, I saw how much sense it all made.
It was all very logical, and as someone coming from a scientific background where everything is governed by the laws of physics, logical is good. In fact, the faith is super-logical or super-reasonable meaning it is above or beyond reason, but not illogical or unreasonable or contrary to logic or reason. So to some degree, it made a lot more sense than a lot of things and it heightened my understanding of the world.
So when I started to recognize God calling me to the priesthood it made sense.
FATHER MARK LAWLOR
By the age of 16, I knew that I wanted to be an engineer. It made sense. I enjoyed working on mechanical devices such as bicycles and eventually old cars, and I was much better in math than in other subjects.
My father was a chemical engineer and he worked in a chemical plant. He oversaw many mechanical and system projects. In high school, I also worked part-time for the same company in the maintenance department. I learned a lot working around experienced mechanics.
I only applied to one college, N.C. State, and I only pursued one degree, mechanical engineering. I worked in construction during the summers while I was in college. I remember on the day of my graduation, I overheard a classmate say, “I look forward to getting into management.” I thought to myself, “I would rather work with machines than with people!”
After graduation, I went to work for the Naval Shipyard in Charleston, in the repair and overhaul of nuclear submarines. The work was interesting, especially coming from a small town. While I didn’t think that I would stay with the government for a career, I did think that I would stay in a technical field. Engineering has many formulas and equations, and I enjoyed working in problem solving.
Spiritually, I was wandering in those days. It was through my attendance at a parish Lenten mission that I began to rediscover my Catholic faith. I then heard the call of the Lord to pursue a religious vocation. It was initially a shock to me. I originally thought that I should become a religious brother and use my engineering experience in a mission or a monastery. I didn’t think that I could ever be a priest. After a couple of years of discernment, I accepted the call to holy orders and began formal preparation.
I have used my engineering experience in my pastoral assignments. Most facilities have some maintenance issues and I feel good when I am able to fix something in lieu of having to call a contractor.
There is a certain order in the study of engineering. I also think that faith is reasonable. Studying philosophy, theology and Scripture helped me to grow in ways I had not previously explored.
I value my studies and work experience in engineering. All of my previous experiences have helped me in some way in pastoral ministry. In reflection, engineering was a practical application of my skills and aptitude. I see my priesthood as a calling from God. I believe we will find our greatest fulfillment when our will is accepting of God’s will.
FATHER LARRY LOMONACO
Father Larry LoMonacoI went to college to earn a degree in engineering, so I could make a lot of money, have a big family and live happily ever after. After four grueling years spent earning a Bachelor of Science in industrial engineering, I felt called to enter the military because I wanted to serve my country and travel.
I went to Officer Training School and was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force. I was assigned to a Civil Engineering Squadron. I enjoyed serving in the military and traveling throughout the world. I was stationed in Texas, Japan, Korea and Colorado. After 7 and a half years, I was forced out of the military during the reduction in force that took place after the first Persian Gulf War in 1992 (250,000 people were forced out of the military, including 75 percent of the reserve officers in my year-group). I was not happy about being forced out of the military, but what could I do?
I spent one year working as a supervisor at a corrugated paper company in Massachusetts, then I decided to move south because I did not want to deal with the winters up north. In August 1994, I moved to Charlotte and was hired by a local manufacturing company to document its assembly processes so they could meet the quality demands of an ISO certification. I initially enjoyed that job, but I eventually became bored with the daily routine of working in a factory. All the employees at that factory would be given a “pep talk” every three months by the company president. He would essentially tell us to work harder so the company could make more money.
I became discouraged that my life had been reduced to working hard so some guys could get rich. I became depressed that my life was so shallow and meaningless. I thought to myself, “There has got to be more to life than this.”
I talked with a Catholic priest I met while I was in Japan (he was serving as a priest in the Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown, Pa., at the time) and he encouraged me to pursue a vocation to the priesthood. I quit my job, rented out my house and went to St. Mary’s Seminary in Baltimore, Md. I was ordained a priest by Bishop William Curlin at St. Patrick Cathedral on June 1, 2002, at the age of 40.
I can definitely see God’s hand in my long journey to the priesthood. My delayed vocation – the fact that I worked in the military and in industry prior to becoming a priest – enables me to relate to the struggles people deal with in the working world. I say to them, “Been there, done that.”
I love being a priest because I love serving God and I enjoy the challenges of ordained ministry. I take great comfort in Romans 8:28: “We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.”
FATHER JAMES STUHRENBERG
When I left the U.S. government, I left the second-largest bureaucracy (the military) to work for the world’s largest bureaucracy, the Church.
I began my career as a project engineer for the U.S. Department of the Navy after earning a Bachelor of Science in electrical engineering from UNC-Charlotte in 1987.
I worked on H46 helicopters as a project engineer in aviation electronics. I also worked on communications systems and navigation systems – just about anything with a wire attached to it in the aircraft. I worked my way up to project manager over the years.
God’s sense of humor is what lured me away from engineering.
I was praying for vocations, for other people to become priests. God said, “What about you?” I said, “I was waiting for someone else.” God just kept bringing it up in prayer and in conversations with other people. A lady from the church and other ladies at church would come up to me and say, “You would make such a good priest.”
So I finally gave in. And I love being a priest.
I enjoyed being an engineer, too. Even then I was involved in the RCIA program and served as an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion.
There are some differences between an engineering career and the priesthood, but there are many parallels.
One of the things I learned as a project engineer was to get up in front of people and talk. Without that training, I don’t know if I could have done that easily as a priest. As an engineer and as a priest, you have to organize projects and programs you want to get done. You have to argue your case in front of people. You have to create budgets and understand financing.
With both paths, you learn what issues are important to hold your ground on. As an engineer, one thing I would fight for completely was safety. I would not do anything that I felt would make the aircraft unsafe, no matter what the management wanted. As a priest, I will not do anything that is heresy, against the Catholic faith.
Luckily in my career as an engineer and as a priest, I have not been asked to. My management back then didn’t want me to do anything unsafe; they knew I would stay strong and they wanted me to. The bishop has always supported me with the teaching of the Catholic faith, and he wants me to teach the Catholic faith.
Some of my family and some of my friends said they saw an inkling of a future in the priesthood for me years ago. I had no idea. I was not even thinking about becoming a priest. I hadn’t thought about becoming a priest until around the year 2000. I had it in my head that I was supposed to be an engineer.
God has put a great love in my heart for His people. I really enjoy being a priest. I never would have thought that when I was an engi-neer I would. The main reason why I thought I might not make a good priest is that I thought that was for “all those outgoing people,” and engineers generally aren’t the outgoing people!
— SueAnn Howell, Senior reporter
CHARLOTTE — The Diocese of Charlotte has again passed an annual independent audit of its child protection procedures.
The yearly audit conducted in August by Stonebridge Business Partners of Rochester, N.Y., monitors U.S. dioceses’ compliance with the U.S. bishops’ Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People, which addresses the Church’s commitment to respond effectively, appropriately and compassionately to cases of abuse of minors by clergy or other Church personnel.
The diocese’s efforts to ensure the protection of children include criminal background checks and educational awareness programs on recognizing and preventing abuse. Auditors have found the Charlotte diocese in compliance with the Charter every year since its inception.
In the previous fiscal year (July 1, 2015, to June 30, 2016), the diocese conducted 5,339 background checks, which are required for all clergy, religious, employees and volunteers.
Since 2002, more than 45,000 adults have also received training in the safe environment awareness program entitled “Protecting God’s Children.” Last fiscal year, the diocese held 211 “Protecting God’s Children” workshops for 3,711 participants.
“Protecting God’s Children” helps adults learn to recognize the warning signs of abuse and the many ways that sexual abuse harms victims, families, parishes and communities. It teaches them appropriate ways to respond to suspicious behaviors and how they can help to prevent abuse.
The diocese has invested about $1.1 million over the past 12 fiscal years in the training program to prevent abuse.
The cost of these various child protection measures and the compliance review totaled $103,944 during the previous fiscal year.
The diocese provided financial assistance to, or on behalf of victims, totaling $17,408, all of which was for counseling and medical services. The diocese also incurred costs in connection with sexual misconduct lawsuits totaling $10,323.
Diocesan insurance funds and the diocesan general fund were used for payment. As in the past, none of these funds came from the Diocesan Support Appeal or from parish savings.
— Catholic News Herald
HIGH POINT — Father Bernard A. Manley Jr., 94, died Thursday, Nov. 3, 2016, at his home at Pennybyrn at Maryfield in High Point.
The Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated at 2 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2016, at St. Lawrence Basilica in Asheville, with Bishop Peter J. Jugis as principal celebrant. Interment will follow at Riverside Cemetery.
A prayer vigil for the deceased will held at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 8, 2016, at Groce Funeral Home, located at 1401 Patton Ave. in Asheville, after which the family will receive friends until 8:30 p.m.
Father Manley was born in Columbia, S.C. on June 12, 1922. He was the son of the late Bernard A. Manley Sr. and Mary Fae Collins Manley, and grandson of John Henry and Emma Hall Manley and Oscar Charles and Minnie Hampton Collins.
He attended Orange Street and Claxton elementary schools and was a 1940 graduate of Lee H. Edwards High School.
In June 1941, he enlisted in the U.S. Army Air Corps and served overseas with the 8th Air Force. He was discharged as a senior master sergeant in October 1945.
Following discharge, he attended the Columbia Institute of Technology in Washington, D.C., and came to work for the City of Asheville as assistant city engineer. In addition, he was appointed chief building inspector and the first traffic engineer of Asheville. In the mid 1950s he designed the first "one-way" street system in Asheville, most of which is still in effect.
He later joined the Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce and retired from there in 1983 as general manager.
He was very active in civic affairs. He was a founding board member of Mountain Area Hospice, Quality Forward and the Asheville-Buncombe Community Relations Council, as well as many other community boards.
He entered the Holy Apostles Seminary in Cromwell, Conn., in September 1983, and in 1987, at the age of 65, he was ordained a priest for the Diocese of Charlotte at St. Lawrence Basilica in Asheville.
He served at St. Patrick Cathedral in Charlotte; as pastor of St. William Church in Murphy, Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in Hayesville and St. Francis of Assisi Church in Mocksville; and as priest in residence at St. Eugene Church in Asheville. He retired from priestly ministry in July 1996.
In addition to his parents, he was preceded in death by his wife, Mary Ellen Tull Manley in 1979, and by a daughter, Rachel Faye Smith, in 2014.
He is survived by a daughter, Geraldine (Jerry) Mulder of Portsmouth, Va.; and several grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to: St. Lawrence Basilica, 97 Haywood St., Asheville, N.C. 28801; CarePartners Hospice, P.O. Box 25338, Asheville, N.C. 28813; St. Eugene Church, 72 Culvern St., Asheville, N.C. 28804; or Maryfield Resident Care Fund, 1315 Greensboro Road, High Point, N.C. 27260.
A register to offer notes of condolence can be found at www.grocefuneralhome.com.
Groce Funeral Home and Cremation Service of Asheville is in charge of the arrangements.
— Catholic News Herald